Friend Grief as Pinball Game
Sep 27, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Most people are familiar with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s famous stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. She herself acknowledged that those who are dying (the original study members) and their survivors may not follow these stages in exact order. But as time has passed since her 1969 book On Death and Dying, society has adopted these five stages as gospel. They’ve been co-opted to explain the feelings of fans after their favorite sports team is eliminated from post-season play, or a TV show is cancelled. It’s only recently that the medical community has questioned those stages.From my own experience, I’d say they’re pretty accurate. But grief – mine included - is rarely neat and linear.Baylor University’s press release...
Friend Grief and Anger
Sep 29, 2011 by Victoria Noe
Anger can be unattractive, there’s no question about it. It’s messy and unpredictable, sometimes loud and violent. And in a world where we like things to make sense, it’s often unacceptable. But never more than when you’re grieving. There’s a long list of people we can be angry with:The person who died: why didn’t they take better care of themselves? Why did they take such a stupid chance? What were they thinking?The medical community: why didn’t the doctor force them to take better care of their health? Why didn’t the paramedics get there sooner? Why hasn’t someone discovered a cure for cancer, etc.?God: why did you make a good person suffer? Why did you leave those children without a parent?...