Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

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An Embarrassment of Riches

An Embarrassment of Riches
May 31, 2018 by Victoria Noe
My color coded files last fall.

You’d think I’d be used to this by now.

I write nonfiction and over the past eight years I’ve done research on a variety of topics related to my books: moral injury, the AIDS epidemic, 9/11, military procedures, men’s health and always, grief. There is no shortage of material available on the internet, in films and TV shows, in poetry and song lyrics, in clinical trials, books and magazine articles.

One of my guilty pleasures is finding a resource that is both appropriate and obscure. Sometimes they’re found in books that have been out of print for decades; I found one in London last month at Gay’s the Word bookstore.  Sometimes they’re...

The Last Blog Post of 2017

The Last Blog Post of 2017
Dec 21, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Deposit Photos

Like many of you, I’m a bit over-committed these days: presents to wrap (assuming they’re already bought), cards to mail, travel arrangements to finalize.

I started writing this blog post last week. It included a bunch of year-end helpful hints. And then I decided I wasn’t going to do that. Social media is full of year-end helpful hints. What I really needed to do was, well, look back.

Last December I was in rehab for my broken writing hand. I was still doing things with my left hand only: not just personal care but decorating the Christmas tree. Yes, I put on the ornaments and tinsel without breaking anything else, which was kind of a miracle....

Who Cares About Your Story?

Who Cares About Your Story?
Aug 30, 2017 by Victoria Noe
“I can’t believe anyone cares about this.” That was the response from a woman who will be in my next book, Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community. I was on a panel with another writer, who mentioned that her sister-in-law’s involvement in the AIDS community during the dark days of the epidemic might be of interest to me. Her story - which will be in the book - is not just interesting: it’s unique and powerful and almost completely unknown, even among those who have been involved in the cause for decades.

Her reaction to being asked permission to include her in my book was not unusual. Many of the people I’ve interviewed -...

When Life Gets in the Way of Writing

When Life Gets in the Way of Writing
Jun 22, 2017 by Victoria Noe
                   lovingonme.com

If you've read this blog for any length of time,  you know I've spent almost two years working on a new book. Fag Hags. Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community has taken on a life of its own. What started as a nagging idea turned into what I fully admit is an obsession to share important, previously-unknown stories of straight women around the world throughout the history of the epidemic.

Big project, right? I knew from the beginning it would be, but with each passing month it seemed to grow in scope and importance. Strangers around the world offered assistance. Interviewees laughed...

HIV Long-Term Survivors Awareness Day

HIV Long-Term Survivors Awareness Day
May 31, 2017 by Victoria Noe
June 5 is HIV Long-Term Survivors Awareness Day, so I’m sharing my essay, "Long-Term Survivor", that won the 2015 Christopher Hewitt Award for Creative Nonfiction from A&U Magazine. Since then I’ve written more and presented on the topic of moral injury in long-term survivors, something that is close to my heart. We can’t help each other until we recognize the challenges. And for me, that meant admitting that I had challenges, too.

 

Long-Term Survivor

It’s only the past few years that that designation has become widely used. Hell, no one expected it would ever be possible. There was a time when my only prayer was to get through a week without reading the obituary of someone I knew or admired from afar.

Since...

The Ripples of Our Audience

The Ripples of Our Audience
May 24, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Writers are always aware that we have an audience, and not just when we’re writing. We all - no matter how we publish - create marketing plans. Often, when asked who our audience is, insist it’s ‘everyone’. But that’s not realistic or workable as a plan.

We debate the effectiveness of Facebook ads vs. newsletter offers, Amazon promotions vs. Goodreads giveaways. We have at least a pretty good idea of who our audience is: gender, age, geographic location, interests. But sometimes we can still be surprised.

I was in Boston earlier this month, speaking at The Muse and the Marketplace writing conference. It was a cold, dreary, rain-soaked weekend outside the Park Plaza Hotel, but energetic and stimulating inside.

Towards the end of the...

Release Day (Again) for Friend Grief and AIDS

Release Day (Again) for Friend Grief and AIDS
May 02, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I checked the calendar, so I know it’s true. It’s been four years since I published Friend Grief and AIDS: Thirty Years of Burying Our Friends. A lot has happened since then.

Some of the most recognizable people in the AIDS community, like Peter Staley and Jim Eigo, have become friends. I’ve attended AIDS conferences and meetings in New York, Chicago and Washington. I joined ACT UP/NY. I wrote freelance articles about the epidemic and won an award for one (2015 Christopher Hewitt Award for Creative Nonfiction). I make presentations about the epidemic and moral injury in long-term survivors. And I made a commitment to another, much longer book.

And though my life changed keeping the promise I made to my friend...

Women's History Month - AIDSWatch

Women's History Month - AIDSWatch
Mar 28, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I planned to turn over my blog again this week to another straight woman in the AIDS community. That particular post will have to wait a bit. Instead I thought it would be better to report on my day (the first of two) in Washington, DC at AIDSWatch. It's no accident, in my mind, that the conference is presented by the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, named for once of the fiercest advocates in the history of the epidemic.

I went last year, joining a few hundred people from around the country to advocate for funding and legislation important to people living with HIV and AIDS. It was my first time lobbying in the capitol since 1989, when I advocated for the...

Women's History Month - Trudy James

Women's History Month - Trudy James
Mar 14, 2017 by Victoria Noe
AppleMark

I was referred to Trudy James by another Chicago author. It was one of those serendipitous moments. I don't know how else I would've found out about Trudy and the amazing work she has done in the AIDS community. But I guarantee you will learn more about her in my book, Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community:

 

I was accepted into a one year Pastoral Care internship at the University of Arkansas Medical Center in Little Rock in 1989. A newly-trained chaplain, from Kansas, I knew nothing about AIDS, a fearful, stigmatized disease slowly creeping into the South. I learned fast from the eight AIDS patients I served that...

AIDS and Women's History Month

AIDS and Women's History Month
Feb 22, 2017 by Victoria Noe
ohio.edu

It’s no secret that I’m writing another book. What began as a nagging thought turned into an idea that has taken on a life of its own. Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community overwhelms me occasionally – if you define ‘occasionally’ as ‘at least once a day’.

I’ve always felt these were stories that needed to be told: how straight women around the world have been an important part of the AIDS community since the beginning of the epidemic. But a random comment from a colleague a few weeks ago opened my eyes to something much bigger.

I was telling her about the book and she said “It’s like Hidden...

The Next Stage for My Next Book

The Next Stage for My Next Book
Oct 26, 2016 by Victoria Noe
I'll be there this week interviewing women for the book.

I’m back…in New York, that is. The last couple trips here I was doing research for my next book, Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community. I’m on a first-name basis with the research librarians at the New York Public Library (5th Avenue and Lincoln Center). They’ve been a great help to me: “That tape is out for digitization, but I took the liberty of pulling the transcript for you.”

This trip marks the next stage for the book. I’m not done with the research; not by a long shot. But between previous visits here, research online and at the U...

"Are You Straight?" - Researching My Next Book

"Are You Straight?" - Researching My Next Book
Aug 10, 2016 by Victoria Noe
NYPL Library for the Performing Arts

All of the Friend Grief books required research. I knew I couldn’t rely only on personal interviews because there were some celebrities I wanted to include, as well as people I could not travel to meet. Truth be told, I like doing research. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I find what I’m looking for. I get really jazzed when I uncover a gem.

 

But this next book…well, the research is on a whole different level.

Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community looks at the contributions of these women through the 35 years of the epidemic. I made a few decisions early on that...

Women's History Month - Andrea Johnson

Women's History Month - Andrea Johnson
Mar 29, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Andrea Johnson

My final guest blogger for Women’s History Month is Andrea Johnson. As is often the case, we’ve never met IRL (in real life) but our paths have crossed. She found out she was HIV positive in 2007, when she was tested after learning of her ex-husband’s affair. Isolated and depressed, she made the decision to devote her life to reaching out to women most at risk or living with HIV. You will not find a more passionate advocate.

 

“How do I LOVE a woman living with HIV without acquiring HIV?”

It’s a question I get all too often from men that are HIV negative that find out a woman he may be interested in is HIV positive,...

Women's History Month - Eileen Dreyer

Women's History Month - Eileen Dreyer
Mar 22, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Eileen Dreyer

I’ve known Eileen Dreyer since the Beatles were still together, so that’s a long time; in fact, we saw them perform. While I was raising money for AIDS organizations in the late 80s and early 90s in Chicago, she was on the front lines in St. Louis. The anger is still there, as it is for many of us. Her story continues Women’s History Month:

 

I hadn't realized how angry I still was until I watched The Normal Heart. Seething angry, unresolved angry. Wishing there were someone I could scream at angry. Because I was there. I saw the beginning of the epidemic. And I'm not sure I'll forgive us for how we faced it.

I worked...

Women’s History Month – Rosa E. Martinez Colon

Women’s History Month – Rosa E. Martinez Colon
Mar 15, 2016 by Victoria Noe
I had to go Washington, DC for the US Conference on AIDS last September to meet the amazing Rosa E. Martinez-Colon. If she looks familiar, it’s because we led a lively discussion on women and AIDS on World AIDS Day at Women & Children First bookstore in Chicago. This is her story:

I remember the first time I heard about AIDS was around 1984 or so; I was still living in Puerto Rico. A neighborhood friend who was an injection drug user died after a short stay in the hospital. The rumor spread rapidly that he had “died of AIDS” – “se murió de SIDA”. Soon after, a couple other neighbors died as well; coincidentally they were either sexual partners or...

Women's History Month - Nancy Duncan

Women's History Month - Nancy Duncan
Mar 08, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Nancy Duncan

For Women’s History Month I’m sharing stories from women in the AIDS community. First up is Nancy Duncan, who I had the pleasure of meeting through ACT UP/NY. She is long-term survivor, an inspiration and a friend. My thanks to her for sharing her story.

 

Being a heterosexual woman in the early days of HIV/AIDS was very different than now. I’m 58 years old and have been living with HIV for going on 31 years. I was first diagnosed in 1990, infected by having unprotected sex with a man who didn’t know he was HIV+. I’d walked around for five years not knowing because I had no symptoms.

I didn't know anyone else who was living with...

Friend Grief and Men (ACT UP Edition)

Friend Grief and Men (ACT UP Edition)
Dec 15, 2015 by Victoria Noe
Jim Eigo receiving his award from Stephen Spinella

One of the men you’ll meet in the final book of my series – Friend Grief and Men: Defying Stereotypes – is Jim Eigo.

When I walked into my first ACT UP/NY meeting almost three years ago, Jim was the guy who waved me over to an empty chair in the circle. That kindness morphed into a friendship I treasure.

He has a long resume, which I’m sure was recounted when he was honored at Treatment Action Group’s (TAG) Research in Action Awards on Sunday night in New York. Playwright, editor, writer, activist: words that cannot convey the depth of his talent and commitment to fighting the epidemic that is now...

CrowdFunding Isn't Only About Money

CrowdFunding Isn't Only About Money
Dec 08, 2015 by Victoria Noe
leardon.com

My own crowdfunding campaign began this time last week on RocketHub, to support research expenses for my book Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community. So I thought I’d share what I’ve learned so far:

  Running a crowdfunding campaign is hard work. I knew, thanks to the detailed training materials from RocketHub and New York Foundation for the Arts, that a lot of planning goes into a successful crowdfunding campaign. I took time to set up the campaign itself – timeline, incentives, etc. – and began posting on social media before it began. Every day I thank donors on the site, as well as Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn and various pages...

World AIDS Day - And A Big Announcement

World AIDS Day - And A Big Announcement
Dec 01, 2015 by Victoria Noe
Bus shelter poster, 1991

Dec. 1, 1988. I was in London, at a performance of The Secret of Sherlock Holmes with Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke. At the curtain call, Brett made a speech about that being the first World AIDS Day. The ushers passed around collection buckets for donations to AIDS service organizations in London. What a concept, I thought: the whole world thinking about AIDS.

Over the years I’ve spent World AIDS Day conducting fundraising events, attending religious services, discussing issues. Tonight I’m leading a conversation on women and AIDS – how women were treated at the beginning of the epidemic and where we are now - at Women & Children First Bookstore in Chicago.

Today is also...

Why This Writer is Thankful

Why This Writer is Thankful
Nov 24, 2015 by Victoria Noe
Washington Square Park

It’s almost Thanksgiving, and for the first time, I’m spending it in New York. I decided to combine a research trip for my 2017 book Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community with a chance to cross something off my life goals list (sounds better than bucket list, doesn’t it?). So on Thursday morning, I’ll be watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person with my family. That opportunity has me thinking about what else I’m grateful for this Thanksgiving, related to my writing.

 

 

 

Brooke Russell Astor Reading Room, NYPL

I’m grateful for research librarians. I’ve always loved school and public librarians, but research librarians...