What Do You Grieve When You Grieve Your Friend?
Jun 08, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Serenading people on line in Central ParkThat was not a stupid question.The simplest, most basic answer is that you grieve that they are physically gone from this world. Whether you believe in heaven or reincarnation or another consciousness after death, you still mourn their loss.But what else do you grieve?Maybe you found out about their death much later, so you missed the funeral. Maybe you two weren’t speaking, and so were never able to settle your differences and part one last time as friends.Maybe you didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.Maybe you never told them you loved them.Maybe you were too embarrassed to tell them how they changed your life.Maybe you didn’t get a chance to help them when...
Finding the Words to Grieve Your Friend
Dec 08, 2011 by Victoria Noe
Thirty-one years ago today, John Lennon was murdered in front of his apartment building in New York. I love this picture of him: confident in his own skin. “This is who I am, and if you don’t like it (fill in the blank).” Lennon had millions of fans and a lot of friends. Many of them spoke to the media after his death. Some were very eloquent. Paul McCartney was not one of them.Their relationship as members of the Beatles was one of incredible creativity. But their friendship was volatile. They’d been estranged for years after the break-up of the group, and John had made some very critical, very public remarks about Paul’s solo efforts. But in December, 1980, they...
Grieving Your Friend in Public
Oct 31, 2011 by Victoria Noe
Your friend died, and you’re grieving. For the most part, that grief is private. But imagine if everyone in town was talking about your friend. Imagine if every time you turned on the TV or radio, or logged onto your computer, someone was talking about your friend.Imagine, too, that upon hearing the news of your friend’s death, you are confronted with members of the media pushing microphones into your face, asking for a comment. How eloquent do you think you might be?In In Other Words: Artists Talk About Life and Work, Anthony DeCurtis recounts an interview with Paul McCartney in 1987. They covered his years with the Beatles (it was the 20th anniversary of “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”)....