Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist



men's grief

My Excuse to Write About Paul McCartney and Friend Grief

My Excuse to Write About Paul McCartney and Friend Grief
Aug 01, 2011 by Victoria Noe
Why I love black tshirts & jeansMy friends probably think I wrote this as a flimsy excuse to post a picture of my favorite Beatle, but that’s only partially true.The media are all over his two concerts here at Wrigley Field (I’m going tonight). “McCartney Mania” has been running on my favorite radio station, playing his music from those ground-breaking Beatles days right through to the present. TV reporters were camped out in front of the ballpark, reporting on the concert and the crowds. Today’s papers ran his play list from last night, and I saw that he continues a tradition he started some time ago: playing a song in honor of each of his late band mates, John Lennon...

Things I’ve Learned Writing a Book about Friend Grief

Jul 13, 2011 by Victoria Noe
It’s been five years since I promised my friend, Delle, I’d write a book about dealing with the death of a friend; almost two years since its form finally became clear to me. I’d already spent over two years mulling it over, writing in fits and starts (mostly fits) before hitting the wall. I’d given up, but one day, it was just there like magic; or karma.I began by researching the whole phenomenon of “disenfranchised grief”: grief that is not acknowledged or respected. Grieving the death of a friend certainly fit the definition. I already knew from personal experience that while everyone at some point will experience the death of a friend, most people are not very sympathetic of others’...

When Your Best Friend is Your Boss

Jun 27, 2011 by Victoria Noe
We spend a good part – perhaps the majority – of our waking hours at work: shared purpose, shared cubicles, shared snack room. The people we work with become a second family. For some people they may actually serve as a family. Most of the friendships we make last only for the time we’re in the same building. Other friendships may carry over to weekends or vacations. Some few become long-term, deeply important friendships.One such friendship is at the center of a story in today’s Chicago Tribune: “When word spread of Chief Executive James Tyree’s death spread through the 12 floors of Mesirow Financial late on March 16, several dozen employees converged on President Richard Price’s office to console each other....

My Dad’s Friends

My Dad’s Friends
Jun 17, 2011 by Victoria Noe
In the backyard with DaddyMy parents were part of a group of about 6 couples. All had married around 1949, stayed married, raised their families in the same place they grew up themselves. My Dad met one guy when they were 5 years old; others he met when they worked at a factory. The men were loud and a little goofy at times. Their culinary adventures rarely extended beyond meat and potatoes or Italian food (my Dad was a notable exception to that rule). We’ve celebrated birthdays and anniversaries, weddings and baptisms with them all. With the exception of one couple closer to my age, in my fifties I still refer to them as “Mr. and Mrs.” rather than their...

People Will Talk (about their friends)

People Will Talk (about their friends)
Feb 07, 2011 by Victoria Noe
We were having dinner at Stecchino’s on 9th Avenue in New York, a lively group of eight who were attending the Writer’s Digest Conference.  With the agent Pitch Slam behind us, the tension of the past two days was finally wearing off, aided by wine, laughter and crab cakes.I don’t remember what we were talking about.  But suddenly George turned to me and said very matter-of-factly, “my best friend died at 29.  It changed my life.”I shouldn’t have been surprised.  George and I had already talked at length about my book, and his enthusiasm was contagious.  But this was the first personal comment he’d made on the subject.I’ve interviewed a number of men for my book, with more to talk...