Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

Little Ways to Remember Your Friend

Some of the people profiled here in Friend Grief have done big, impressive things after their friend died. Maybe they founded a charity or made big changes in their own lives.

Not everyone can do something big and expensive. Not everyone wants to. And often, it’s the little things that count.
Here are a few ideas of things you can do to remember your friend:


-Visit their grave, or have flowers sent there on a day that was special only to the two of you.

-If a memorial Facebook page was set up for them, post a comment, just to say you’re thinking about them.

-Play a song that reminds you of them.

-Go someplace you used to go together. Don’t be surprised if you half-expect to see them there.

-Do something they liked to do.

-Write to them. It may sound odd, but just write about how you’re feeling. Maybe reminisce about how you met, the funniest thing you ever did together, a trip you took. Tell them what they meant to you.                 

-Volunteer for a charity they supported.

-Make a CD of pictures of your friend. Add a soundtrack of their favorite songs. Share it with mutual friends.

-Do something in their memory. Maybe you want to challenge yourself to run a 5K race, or lose 10 pounds. Dedicate your hard work to them.

-Depending on your/their faith, plan a religious observance (Mass, prayer service) on the anniversary of their death, or their birthday.

-Become an organ donor.

-Make the time to call another friend.

-If you have a picture of the two of you that makes you happy, get a nice frame and put it in a place of honor in your home.


I believe one of the most human reactions to a person’s death is that we fear they will be forgotten. We despair that others will never know what a great friend we lost.
All of these activities – and many more – help keep a person’s memory alive. “As long as you remember him,” Doctor Who told Amy. “He’s not dead.”

So it is with our friends. They’re always with us.


Copyright © Victoria Noe.

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