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girlfriends
Friend Grief and Reunions
Jul 29, 2014 by Victoria Noe
Our 2010 reunionIt’s reunion season.I graduated from Nerinx Hall, a Catholic girls school run by the ever-progressive Sisters of Loretto in St. Louis. Since our 20th reunion, we’ve met every five years.We’ve met in the school cafeteria, a country club, and the home of one of our classmates. Sometimes we’ve had one event, sometimes two over a weekend. Certain traditions are included at each reunion.First, no men. We made that mistake at the five year reunion (actually held a year late) and decided it was too much trouble to entertain husbands or boyfriends. We have a lot more fun when it’s just us.Second, before we meet for dinner or brunch, we have a tour of the school to see the...
Dead Friends Who Still Talk To You
Mar 08, 2013 by Victoria Noe
Delle ChatmanFour of us sat in the front of St. Gertrude’s Church one November morning. It was a year after our friend Delle Chatman’s death.Kim, Rina, Jeannie and I originally met Delle because our children attended Sacred Heart Schools on Sheridan Road in Chicago. Now the four of us decided to remember her with Mass followed by red velvet cupcakes at Metropolis, the coffee house where we all hung out.In November, St. Gert’s puts up an ofrenda: a small, temporary altar displaying photos of parishioners who died during the previous year. Prominent on the table, just to the side of the main altar, was a joyous photo of Delle and her daughter, dressed in traditional African robes, dancing. It was definitely...
Calling All Girlfriends!
May 11, 2012 by Victoria Noe
vintagesusie&wings.comI started out writing my book believing I knew one thing for sure: I’d have no trouble finding women to talk about grieving a friend.And that was true. But, as I’ve written here before, the men surprised me with their willingness not just to talk: sometimes they offered to talk, unsolicited. As a result, I currently have an imbalance of male/female stories in my book.Now I’m looking for more women to interview. I’m particularly looking for women who have grieved a friend (male or female) with the following special circumstances: You’re a member of a religious community You’re a first responder or militaryYou channeled your grief into action by supporting a cause that either helped your friend or was otherwise...
"Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake"
May 07, 2012 by Victoria Noe
I was fortunate to be in the audience for the Chicago Tribune’s sold out Printers Row Live event on Friday evening, a conversation with author Anna Quindlen. Her new book, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, is a thoroughly enjoyable reflection as she reaches a milestone birthday this summer: sixty.In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve been a fan of Quindlen’s for many years, and not just because we share a birthday. Her writings have spoken to a generation of women whose lives were defined by choices our mothers never enjoyed: choices that complicated as well as simplified our lives.In her latest book, Quindlen takes time to pause, to look at where she’s come from and where she’s...
"Love is in the Details"
May 04, 2012 by Victoria Noe
E. Jason Wambsgans, Chicasgo TribuneThe front page of the Chicago Tribune is generally reserved for hard news. And stories that begin “above the fold” are typically national or international in nature. But the story that began just under the masthead on Thursday, with a series of three photos, was very local. You could say it’s a little story. It has no earth-shattering implications for the economy or national security. It’s a story of friendship and loss, and the friends left behind.A year ago yesterday, Justyna Palka, an art director at Ogilvy & Mather, was struck and killed by a tour bus as she crossed a busy intersection in downtown Chicago. The bus driver has an extensive criminal record. He...
Worrying About Your Friends
Apr 16, 2012 by Victoria Noe
I don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of finding out about the deaths of friends. It’s not that I was close to all of them, but they were still a part of my life at some time. So I decided to revisit this post from last spring, because it’s still true.At the end of the morning roll call on the 80’s hit Hill Street Blues, Phil would always remind his comrades “let’s be careful out there.”They were cops. They knew every day could be their last.Not everyone lives that consciously, certainly not when they’re younger.But the truth of the matter is, the world is a dangerous place. Stuff happens, no matter where you live.We can eat healthy foods,...
Grieving for a Celebrity “Friend”
Mar 05, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Davy Jones "Did you hear who died? Because if you didn’t, you need to sit down.”That was the text I sent to my girlfriend last week. I saw the news on Facebook and Twitter, and when I didn’t hear from Eileen immediately, I realized she must not know what happened.She responded instantly, asking who it was.I hesitated. I was the one who called her almost 30 years ago to tell her that one of her very favorite actors had died. This was another sudden death.“Jones.”“Jones” was Davy Jones of the Monkees, who died of a heart attack last week at the age of 66.In the interest of full disclosure, in high school we (and a few other girls, too)...
Author photo by Alina Oswald
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