Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist



Facebook memorials

Friends, Calendars and Facebook

Friends, Calendars and Facebook
Dec 24, 2013 by Victoria Noe
Happy birthday, MareI used to be very diligent about recording birthdays on my calendar. Every year, I’d get a new datebook and wall calendar, and the first thing I’d do is list birthdays of friends and family. Somehow I got out of that habit. When I was addressing Christmas cards the other day, I paged through my address book (yes, I still have an actual address book). Every time I turned to a new page, I said to myself “he’s dead” or “she’s dead” or “they’re both dead”. I don’t know about you, but I can’t bring myself to get a new address book. That would mean not putting in names of friends and family who are no longer...

Setting Up A Facebook Tribute Page for Your Friend

Setting Up A Facebook Tribute Page for Your Friend
Nov 15, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Families have an advantage when someone dies. It sounds weird, doesn’t it? But it’s true.They have legal rights. Society views them as the primary mourners. Most people will take their cues from the family, as far as appropriate ways to mourn.But what about you? What about the friends?Social media – Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn – are part of our lives. Some people are more invested in it than others, for social and/or business reasons. But it affects most of us in some way.So it stands to reason that the subject of expressing our grief online would be a topic of discussion and controversy: Should a death be announced online? That debate has been brewing for a while and won’t go...

Dying: There’s an App for That

Dying: There’s an App for That
Jan 13, 2012 by Victoria Noe
It had to happen sooner or later. Remember Murder She Wrote and other mystery TV shows and movies? Someone - usually a wealthy, mean, vindictive person - leaves a video for viewing by his/her survivors. There are shocking revelations - perhaps motive for that person’s murderer?Well, Facebook - recognizing how digitally addicted we all are - has a new app: “If I Die”.I love that name: “If I Die” - like we have a choice. JHere’s an article from today’s Chicago Tribune:Facebook "If I Die" AppIt’s a great idea for control freaks (like me). You control what your final Facebook status update will be. You create a video to be posted when (sorry, it’s when not if) you die. Three...

Grieving Online

Feb 09, 2011 by Victoria Noe
The Internet allows people around the world to communicate 24/7, though not always for the better.  We are besieged by texts, tweets, posts and comments from people we know and people we don’t want to know.  There is no expectation of privacy.How then to account for the use of the internet for expressing something as private and personal as grief?My high school class started a Yahoo group after 9/11, to share information on memorial service plans for our classmate, Carol Demitz.  The group lives on, and now shares news of other classmates’ deaths, as well as happy news:  births of grandchildren, marriages, plans for social outings.  Its initial purpose may have been fulfilled 9 years ago, but the desire to...