Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist



anticipatory grief

Anticipating a Friend's Death

Anticipating a Friend's Death
Aug 19, 2015 by Victoria Noe
“Anticipatory grief refers to a grief reaction that occurs before an impending loss.” – Wikipedia

Last week was one of ‘those’ weeks. I don’t know if it was the alignment of the planets, or global warming or what, but I heard an unusual amount of scary news about friends, including:

One of my mom’s oldest friends had kidney surgery.

One of my college friends had heart surgery.

Another friend announced she is starting chemo soon for liver cancer.

As my husband annoyingly reminds me, we’re at that age when the people around us – not just those older – are dying. That doesn’t make me feel better.

In all the examples above, there was reason to be optimistic. By all accounts, the surgeries were successful. The...

Freaking Out About Your Friends

Freaking Out About Your Friends
Feb 26, 2013 by Victoria Noe
I admitted recently that I’m a little paranoid about the health of my friends. Okay, more than a little. Three death notices in a week’s time will do that to you. So when I hear comments like…   “She called the doctor; something’s wrong and she’s not sure what.”“He’s not eating.”“She’s been coughing for weeks.”“They’re running more tests.”…I can feel my body tense up.Maybe you have a friend whose health is shaky. Maybe they drink too much, or use drugs. Maybe they’re so busy taking care of their families than they neglect their own needs. Maybe they’re healthy as a horse, but something strange has happened.No one wants to hear a lecture about their health. “Stubborn, not incompetent” is the...