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types of grievers

Don’t Tell Me How to Grieve!

Jun 10, 2011 by Victoria Noe

There have been times when my grief has been so overwhelming that I didn’t realize what people were saying to me. I’d nod my head, as if in agreement. I thought if they believed I was agreeing with them, they’d leave me alone. It was only later – hours, days, even months later – that their words began to make sense.My post on Wednesday, “Types of Grievers – Part 4”, really hit a nerve with people. In addition to comments on this blog, I got private emails about the subject of the post. In it, I talked about the worst kind of grieving, when you feel you can’t or shouldn’t grieve the way that makes the most sense to you.“You...

Jun 08, 2011 by Victoria Noe

“You need to be strong for...”“You need to move on.”“Why haven’t you cried?”We all grieve in our own way. But the fourth and final type of griever described here is the type no one wants to be. This griever can’t or won’t express their grief the way that feels most natural to them. Generally speaking, in our culture, men are expected to be the strong ones when dealing with grief, and women are expected to willingly express their feelings.Men may feel that any expression of emotion is not “masculine” and should be suppressed. Women may feel that there’s something wrong with them because they’re not crying.Men may feel they should limit their physical contact with others to stiff hugs and...

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Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

Blog

types of grievers

Don’t Tell Me How to Grieve!