Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

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Helping Friends Pick Funeral Music

Helping Friends Pick Funeral Music
Sep 26, 2013 by Victoria Noe
There seem to be two types of funerals. One is the kind that makes us cringe, may even make us angry. It’s where the person leading the service never met the person who died. It’s obvious – they ramble on in general, pious terms. They mispronounce the deceased’s name. Times like those I want to walk up to the front, say “shut up and sit down” and invite friends and family to do a better job.Then there are those we never forget. I’ve been to a few, where the eulogies made us laugh, made us cry, and even made us give standing ovations. And the music…well, the music makes all the difference.I remember walking into my friend Delle’s apartment...

Where Do You Go to Grieve Your Friends?

Where Do You Go to Grieve Your Friends?
Dec 18, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Student at fork in the roadI was raised Catholic, though I probably don’t fit the definition of what some people consider a “good” Catholic. But I assume God and I will discuss the finer points of that topic at a later date.So I was brought up going to funeral high masses, listening to “Dies Irae”, coughing from aggressive use of incense. Before the funeral was a wake at a funeral parlor, sometimes lasting several days. Flowers sent by friends and family were delivered as people gathered before the dead person in their coffin.  Mass cards were left, and everyone signed the condolence book so that thank you’s could be sent in the weeks ahead. There was a little room where...

Why Friend Grief is Different - Pt. 3

Why Friend Grief is Different - Pt. 3
Oct 21, 2011 by Victoria Noe
In my last post, I brought up the painful situation of not being notified of a friend’s death.As we all know, the stress of grief can affect our memories. Try as we might, things fall through the cracks as we plan for the funeral and deal with the loss of a loved one. It’s embarrassing at times. Personally, I’m on a mission to require name tags at wakes. People you haven’t seen in years walk up and say “you don’t remember me, do you?” On a good day, it’s hard to recognize people you haven’t seen for decades. Being at a wake is probably not a good day. But I digress.Families are usually the ones organizing the funeral events, and...

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