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Friend Grief and the Military

'Tis the Season for Writing and Giving

Nov 30, 2016 by Victoria Noe

It’s that time of year for shopping and digging a little deeper to support worthy causes.

The appeals are relentless: junk mail, phone calls, emails, tweets and Facebook posts. Every day, starting in earnest at Thanksgiving and not letting up until New Year’s Eve. As a former fundraiser, I’ve learned over the years to ignore most of those appeals.

But the truth is, most people really do want to help. And every donation helps.

Early on in the writing of the Friend Grief series, I knew I wanted to designate a charity partner for at least one of the books. I researched organizations, met with a few of their founders. One decision came easily.

The second book –Friend Grief and AIDS: Thirty Years of...

Jul 19, 2016 by Victoria Noe

If you subscribe to my newsletter (and you can do that on the right-hand side of this page), this will be old news. If not, there’s a lot going on:

August 4 – I’m doing a reading and signing of my latest book Friend Grief and Men: Defying Stereotypes at Bureau of General Services/Queer Division bookstore, in the LGBT Center in New York. I’m focusing on the most talked-about chapter in the book, comparing military veterans to long-term survivors in the AIDS community. Joining me is fellow ACT UP/NY member Jim Eigo, whose story is included. That book and Friend Grief and AIDS: Thirty Years of Burying Our Friends will be available for purchase.

August 7 – Three of my books (Friend...

Jun 28, 2016 by Victoria Noe

pbs.org

I’m a big fan of British period mysteries, and given the harsh reality of the news the past two weeks, I admit to a bit of escapism.

Grantchester is a traditional mystery series – based on the novels by James Runcie – set in the real-life town of Grantchester in Cambridgeshire eight years after the end of World War II. The stories revolve around the vicar, Sidney Chambers (played by James Norton) and his mate, grumpy police inspector Geordie Keating (played by Robson Green). They are supported by a memorable group of characters – Sidney’s assistant, his housekeeper, the girl-who-got-away, and others. The richness of the characters is what has kept me a fan through its three...

May 24, 2016 by Victoria Noe

Next Monday is Memorial Day. You know what that means: social media filled with pictures of military cemeteries awash in tiny flags. You’ll be asked to like, share and retweet for the entire 3-day weekend. Big sales at the mall. Politicians who routinely vote against veterans’ interests will shower the military with praise, only to forget about them the next day

There are, unfortunately, a lot of fundraising scams out there and many are veteran-related. When I wrote Friend Grief and the Military: Band of Friends I wanted to have a charity partner: a reputable nonprofit that would benefit from sales of the book.

I found one in Military Outreach USA. Their mission is to empower a Military Caring Network to serve...

6 Things I Learned Writing the Friend Grief Books

May 03, 2016 by Victoria Noe

As the Friend Grief series comes to a close, I started feeling a little pensive. It’s been a remarkable journey I could have never predicted, much less planned. So I wanted to share some of what I’ve learned, one thing for each book from last to first:

Friend Grief and Men: Defying Stereotypes. I began interviewing men secure in my sexist view that getting stories out of men would be like pulling teeth. I was wrong. So wrong. Incredibly wrong. None of the men I interviewed clammed up, though a couple were slow to open up. Some wanted to be interviewed. Some wanted to be interviewed a second time. All wanted to share...

Sep 29, 2015 by Victoria Noe

There’s so much news to share with you and a lot of it has been happening quickly. So fasten your seat belt while I bring you up to date on what I’m doing.

First of all, do you see the upper right hand corner of your screen, where is says “subscribe to my newsletter’? You really want to do that. Subscribing to my short and sweet Wednesday newsletter means you get all the good stuff first. Not only that, but subscribers receive a pdf copy of my latest book, Friend Grief in the Workplace: More Than an Empty Cubicle, free. Yes, free, but that’s an offer that will not last much longer.

Back to the news. Here’s what I can share and...

Jul 07, 2015 by Victoria Noe

bandni.co.uk

I attended a writers’ conference a few years ago. I was particularly looking forward to one presentation. The speaker – who shall remain nameless – was someone I’d been following for a while on Twitter. Occasionally sarcastic, his tweets were always entertaining and full of great tips. We gathered in the ballroom and he opened his mouth.

Not many speakers have ever disappointed me as much as he did. While his online persona was larger-than-life, in person he was the opposite. He rarely made eye contact with his audience as he read from his script. He could barely be heard, as he did not make good use of the microphone. Unlike some people, I stayed for the...

Grieving Friends Lost in Two Different Wars

May 26, 2015 by Victoria Noe

When I was writing Friend Grief and the Military: Band of Friends, I was struck by the stories of grief and survivor guilt. Though many of the stories came from those doing the actual fighting, there were also those that came from non-combatants: war correspondents, medics, chaplains, nurses, even a little drummer boy.

As I read them, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of déjà vu. It wasn’t that I’d necessarily heard these stories before, but rather stories that were very similar. Only after several weeks did it become obvious to me: not all those who experience war faced an enemy armed with guns and bombs. Some faced off against a virus.

Activist/author Larry Kramer referred to AIDS as a plague. It...

Nov 11, 2014 by Victoria Noe

For Veterans Day, I'm reposting the announcement of my latest book, Friend Grief and the Military: Band of Friends. It recently earned an honorable mention in the Chicago Writers Association 2014 Book of the Year Awards. But what means even more to me are the reactions of veterans who have read it: "You get it."Grief is hard. Grief for our friends is often dismissed as unimportant, at least when compared to losing a family member. But friendships forged in the military are different, very different. You’re friends, but more, because your lives depend on it.In my book, you’ll meet men and women on the front lines who watched their friends die, and carry the trauma of that moment with them...

The End of the Friend Grief Series?

Oct 29, 2014 by Victoria Noe

Don’t get excited. It’s not happening tomorrow.When I made the decision to serialize what was originally one book I knew it would eventually end. I believed there would be six books in the series. That’s still my assumption. What’s changed is the subject of the sixth one.By now you know that I’ve published four books Friend Grief and Anger: When Your Friend Dies and No One Gives A Damn Friend Grief and AIDS: Thirty Years of Burying Our Friends Friend Grief and 9/11: The Forgotten Mourners Friend Grief and the Military: Band of FriendsThe fifth book, Friend Grief in the Workplace: More Than an Empty Cubicle, comes out in January (details will be announced in mid-December).I thought the sixth book...

“Oh, That’s Depressing” – Writing about Friend Grief

Aug 05, 2014 by Victoria Noe

I wish I had a dollar for every time I’ve told someone what I write about. “Oh, that’s depressing” is certainly the most frequent negative response. Luckily, I don’t hear it too often.I was in New York last week at the Writers Digest Conference. Going to this particular conference in January, 2011, was what really kick-started my writing career. I met people there (and shortly after) who are still trusted advisors and friends. I started tweeting on my way to the conference so I wasn’t the only one there who wasn’t on Twitter. This blog began a week later.Although I haven’t been posting as regularly the past few months, it’s not because I had nothing to say. There were health...

Jun 06, 2014 by Victoria Noe

Book #4 in the New Title ShowcaseThis post is a bit of a departure from normal posts. It’s a look at what Friend Grief – the blog and the books (the brand, if you will) – was doing at Book Expo America.I’ve attended BEA before (so I wore comfortable shoes and allocated time for standing in the Starbucks line), but this year was different. I had a very specific purpose for being there and the first ever Author Hub gave me the opportunity to take a big step forward.The Author Hub was a dedicated area for self-published authors. Over the course of three days, we heard speakers address a variety of business topics (marketing, rights, agents, discoverability). We had room...

May 26, 2014 by Victoria Noe

It’s Memorial Day, the day we remember those who gave the ultimate sacrifice to preserve our freedom. It’s also the launch day for the fourth book in my series, Friend Grief and the Military: Band of Friends.Grief is hard. Grief for our friends is often dismissed as unimportant, at least when compared to losing a family member. But friendships forged in the military are different, very different. You’re friends, but more, because your lives depend on it.In my book, you’ll meet men and women on the front lines who watched their friends die, and carry the trauma of that moment with them for decades. You’ll meet noncombatants – doctors, nurses, chaplains, war correspondents and even a little drummer boy from...

May 16, 2014 by Victoria Noe

I’m heading into a very busy few weeks – all good! If you’re in New York or Chicago, here’s what’s on the calendar:May 29-31 - Book Expo America, Jacob Javits Center, NYCI’ll be in the new Author Hub, showcasing a small group of self-published authors. If you’re attending BEA, including Saturday’s Book Con for the general public, please stop by and say hi!My new book, Friend Grief and the Military: Band of Friends is featured in the New Title Showcase.May 31 - uPublishU, Jacob Javits Center, NYCThe final day of Book Expo America includes a self-publishing conference, uPublishU. I’m excited to be the only author on the panel “Build Your Author Platform and Publish Successfully”.June 1 - Bureau of General Services...

Apr 22, 2014 by Victoria Noe

It’s very busy in my house: spring cleaning, office reorganization and the next book in the Friend Grief series about to be published. So I thought this is a good time to let you know what’s coming in the next couple months:I’ll be in the first AuthorHub at Book Expo America, May 29-31. It’s a special area for self-published authors, and includes such superstars as Hugh Howey. (I’m definitely not in his league, but it’s nice to bask in the glow.) If you’re attending, please stop by and say hi!Here on Friend Grief during May, leading up to the next book’s publication, I’ll have a series of posts on people and organizations I’ve met during the research, including Stop Soldier...

Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

Blog

Friend Grief and the Military

'Tis the Season for Writing and Giving

Friend Grief Events - August

Friend Grief and Grantchester

Memorial Day and Friend Grief

6 Things I Learned Writing the Friend Grief Books

Fasten Your Seat Belt!

Friend Grief Presentations

Grieving Friends Lost in Two Different Wars

Friend Grief on Veterans Day

The End of the Friend Grief Series?

“Oh, That’s Depressing” – Writing about Friend Grief

Friend Grief in New York - Part 2