Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

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A Long Time Ago and Yesterday

A Long Time Ago and Yesterday
Sep 06, 2016 by Victoria Noe
That's how someone described 9/11 to me today: a long time ago and yesterday.

There are moments that are like that. They seem so long ago it's hard to summon specific memories. But at the same time, they feel like they just happened.

Instead of writing about it again, I decided to share this post from writer Damon DiMarco. I'd just read his book about 9/11 when I (almost literally) ran into him at Book Expo America in 2011. He graciously agreed to write this for my blog for the 10th anniversary. It still resonates today.

 

From One to Eleven: The Essence of Grief Bring them back, God, please bring them back. This is the essence of grief. Not the secret we shared with a...

9/11 + 14

9/11 + 14
Sep 08, 2015 by Victoria Noe
9/11 Memorial, NYC

Fourteen years is a long time. But this Friday marks fourteen years since the terror attacks of September 11, 2001.

If you’re reading this you probably remember that day. Maybe you heard about it on the radio, or someone woke you to say “Turn on your TV!”. Maybe your building was evacuated or your office shut down.

The cable networks have already started rerunning specials about the attacks, as if you could ever forget what happened that day. But the truth – to the surprise of many of us – is in the numbers.

Fourteen years means students who are in grade school or high school today don’t remember that day; in fact most of them...

Celebrating on 9/11?

Celebrating on 9/11?
Sep 11, 2013 by Victoria Noe
It feels a little odd to be happy on September 11.Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the world should stop spinning today. People should go to work and school, do their grocery shopping, eat birthday cake (the biggest piece, with the rose on it).But today is the release of the third book in my Friend Grief series, Friend Grief and 9/11: The Forgotten Mourners. As I tweeted to a friend yesterday, I’m not always happy with what I write, but I’m happy with and proud of this book.It turned out a little differently than I expected. It has turned into an advocacy piece, because of the people I interviewed and learned about.The 9/11 Memorial – a beautiful place everyone...

What Could Be Worse Than A Friend’s Death?

What Could Be Worse Than A Friend’s Death?
Jul 25, 2013 by Victoria Noe
Surviving. Of course we survive. We wouldn’t be here to grieve our friends if we weren’t alive. Sometimes the depth of that grief takes us by surprise, which is one of the reasons why I started this blog and my books.But when I started writing about grieving the death of a friend, I didn’t expect to find that survivor guilt plays such a huge role in the lives of many people.While researching the second book in my series, Friend Grief and AIDS: Thirty Years of Burying Our Friends, I learned that one of the biggest issues for long-time HIV+ men is survivor guilt. Like me, they lost a lot of friends: dozens, even hundreds. But because of luck or...

Another Clear Blue Tuesday

Another Clear Blue Tuesday
Sep 11, 2012 by Victoria Noe
The past two years on September 11, I was in New York for the observances. Mostly it was research, for that chapter in the book I’m writing. Partly it was personal: a high school classmate died in the South Tower.One of the things that struck me last year was the determination of people from around the world – mostly first responders – to come to New York at their own expense on the anniversary. I spoke to a young police officer from Toronto, who was there for the seventh time, and met firefighters from as far away as Australia. Without exception, they considered it a duty and an honor to be there.It feels strange not being there. This year my...

Dreading Anniversaries – 9/11

Dreading Anniversaries – 9/11
Aug 11, 2011 by Victoria Noe
With a month to go before the 10th anniversary of the September 11 attacks, the media is gearing up for what promises to be saturation coverage.Memorial events – some annual, some special for this year – are being announced in New York, Washington, DC, and Pennsylvania.Politicians will invoke the attacks and the bravery of first responders, and try to link themselves to the courage shown on that day.News specials – reruns of documentaries from those early days as well as new programs – are being announced for networks and cable channels.President Obama has declared September 11 to be a National Day of Service, so communities around the country are not only planning commemorations, but activities to focus on positive action.I...

The Myth of Closure

The Myth of Closure
May 02, 2011 by Victoria Noe
“Closure: the sense of finality and coming to terms with an experience, felt or experienced over time.” – Encarta Dictionary“Closure” is a word frequently invoked in grief-related literature. Events are said to bring “closure” to people who grieve: discovery of remains, burial, 1st anniversaries, etc.But the news of the death of Osama bin Laden may only be initially considered closure.Certainly, the death of the most wanted terrorist in the world is a cause for celebration, even not knowing how other terrorist organizations will respond.But for those who lost family or friends on 9/11, there is no closure.Osama bin Laden is dead, but so are their loved ones.Don’t assume everyone is happy and “all right” now. Don’t assume the grieving is...