Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

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New Year’s resolutions

Why New Year's Resolutions Are Made to be Broken

Why New Year's Resolutions Are Made to be Broken
Jan 02, 2020 by Victoria Noe
insurancejournal.com

I have never been a big fan of New Year’s resolutions. They’ve always felt to me like a setup for failure. But something popped into my head this morning that has changed my mind.  

I thought about what others have said to me when I was trying to do something that seemed impossible. Their words of encouragement - “You can do it!” - sometimes rang hollow. But their encouragement wasn’t time-limited. They didn’t stop encouraging me if my first attempt fell short.

Whether it was trying to improve my grades, or applying for a grant, that ‘failure’ wasn’t permanent. Maybe my grades fell short that semester. There’s another semester starting soon. Maybe I didn’t get that grant. But...

Focus, Distractions, and Pie

Focus, Distractions, and Pie
Jan 04, 2019 by Victoria Noe
The beginning of a new year finds most of us clutching to lists of things we hope to accomplish in the next twelve months. For writers, that can mean finishing a book, signing with an agent, or just perfecting their craft.

I have a friend who’s writing a memoir right now. Actually, I have several friends who are writing memoirs, but this one is doing something a bit extreme. Always involved on social media, he’s taking a four month break to finish the first draft of his memoir. No gradual withdrawal, no plans for regular check-ins with friends and followers. No social media until May 1st. None.

Well, I admire him for his commitment. He’s been working on the memoir most of...

What's Your Word of the Year?

What's Your Word of the Year?
Jan 17, 2018 by Victoria Noe
elizabethrider.com

A lot of friends of mine have decided to pick a word as their theme, their mantra for 2018. Some have chosen interesting words like ‘fearless’ or ‘joy’. Mary Schmich, in the Chicago Tribune, shared some of her readers’ choices. For a while, the whole thing struck me as silly.

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, though I am fond of to-do lists. I made a list of goals for my writing this year. I will probably fall short, but that’s okay. I’ll be happy if I only meet half of them because that will mean that I’m working smarter than I did last year.

Having said that, the idea of picking one word for my mantra started...

Old Friends

Old Friends
Jan 11, 2018 by Victoria Noe
The title of this week’s blog post is one of my favorite Simon & Garfunkel songs. I was a teenager when the song was released, and the old friends sitting on a park bench were not people I related to. They were...old. They were slow-moving. Nothing like me or my friends.

But time has a way of changing things. There are friends in my life who I’ve known for decades. Some have stayed in my life continuously. Others - and I think this is more typical - have moved in and out. But as I get older, those friends are the ones who have moved closer.

I’ve watched my 88 year old mother’s world shrinking as friends and family members die. But...

New Year’s Resolutions…About Friend Grief?

New Year’s Resolutions…About Friend Grief?
Jan 02, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Today is the second day of 2012. Have you broken any New Year’s resolutions yet?We start the year with such good intentions: lose weight, exercise more, save money, travel. We expect that it will be easy to keep them.Then something happens. We realize just how hard it is to keep those resolutions. We fall off the wagon once, and decide we’ve failed. So we give up. And it’s not February yet. Pathetic, isn’t it?But I would propose that you go ahead and make New Year’s resolutions about friend grief.1.      Don’t ignore your grief. It will bite you in the butt when you least expect it.2.      Don’t keep your grief bottled up inside. Share it with a therapist, in a group,...