Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist



Dying Matters

Friend Grief and Dying Matters

Friend Grief and Dying Matters
May 10, 2016 by Victoria Noe
“Would you tell me if you were sick?”

We were having one of our occasional lunches in New York, catching up on work and our families. I told him about a conversation I’d had with my best friends from high school: if we were terminally ill, would we share the news with each other?

“I’m not sick,” he insisted, a little horrified that I might think otherwise.

“I didn’t think you were. But would you tell me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

The stories in the Friend Grief books are all unique, but ultimately fall into two categories: people who were prepared for their friend’s death and those who were not.

Those who had some advance knowledge were not exempt from grief. But they tended to suffer less...

Dying Matters 2012

Dying Matters 2012
Apr 25, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Most people will do anything to avoid those end-of-life conversations. Who wants to talk about ‘extraordinary means’, much less who’s going to get your grandmother’s jewelry? But doing so when we are able to not just discuss these issues but make decisions is something important for us all.The Dying Matters Coalition was founded in London in 2009 “to support changing knowledge, attitudes and behaviours towards death, dying and bereavement, and through this to make ‘living and dying well’ the norm". It has 16,000 members (full disclosure: I’m one).May 14-20 is Dying Matters Awareness Week. You may see stories pop up on TV and the Internet that will personify this year’s theme “Small Actions, Big Differences”.It’s a great theme, because it...

Dying Matters - For Friends, Too

Dying Matters - For Friends, Too
May 17, 2011 by Victoria Noe
I’m in my best friend’s will.She told me long ago what she was leaving me. It has no value to anyone in her family; in fact, she’d prefer they didn’t open the box at all. It’s a personal keepsake of our past, mostly high school.I think it was when I was in St. Louis for her father’s funeral that I told her there was huge flaw in this plan. “You’re assuming you go first,” I told her. After a moment, she agreed that was problematic. (Plus, I really, really, really would like to have that box now.)This week is Dying Matters week in the UK, a time for people to at least begin the difficult conversations we must have but...

Online Resources: Dying Matters

Online Resources: Dying Matters
Apr 18, 2011 by Victoria Noe
Despite all the hysteria about ‘death panels’, there is a critical need for each and every one of us to thoughtfully consider end-of-life plans. It’s an uncomfortable subject for most people. But avoiding the subjects of where we want to spend our final days and how, what kind of services we want held, and how we want to be remembered will not make them go away.Dying Matters is a UK-based nonprofit coalition. This is from their website:“In 2009 the National Council for Palliative Care (NCPC) set up the Dying Matters Coalition to promote public awareness of dying, death and bereavement. Our members include organisations from across the NHS, voluntary and independent  health and care sectors (including hospices, care homes, charities supporting old people,...