Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

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Women's History Month

Why Women's History Month is Like A Treasure Hunt

Why Women's History Month is Like A Treasure Hunt
Mar 02, 2020 by Victoria Noe
I have a friend who posts the same thing on Facebook every morning: “Today is National X Day. Please celebrate responsibly.” He shares commemorations that are sometimes important, often obscure, frequently funny. I look forward to them because they start my day with a smile and a new bit of - sometimes useless - knowledge.

Women’s History Month is like that, too. Just like February’s Black History Month, every day in March brings stories that are new to many and endlessly fascinating. Uncovering those jewels is critical to our understanding of the world. 

This year marks the centennial of the 19th amendment, which finally gave women the right to vote. One hundred years ago, my grandparents were teenagers and young adults. It...

A Special Women's History Month

A Special Women's History Month
Mar 28, 2019 by Victoria Noe
It’s been almost five years since the idea for my next book popped into my head.

On April 1, 2014, I was at the New York Public Library for a panel discussion: “The Women of ACT UP/NY! Fight Back! Fight AIDS!” A group of accomplished women - straight and lesbians - talked about the things they’d accomplished that changed the AIDS epidemic. The most significant one was arguably a four year battle to change the definition of AIDS to include women. Until 1992, the government and insurance companies defined AIDS by how it presented in men.

I knew most of the stories they told, though many in the audience, including my 19 year old daughter, did not. I remember thinking,...

Putting Pen to Paper: The First Draft

Putting Pen to Paper: The First Draft
Oct 19, 2017 by Victoria Noe
winghill.com

Next week I head back to New York. My creative juices flow freely there and it’s time - actually a little past time - to crank out the first draft of my next book.

I’m rushing to finish reading some books for research and photocopy pages I’ll need to refer to while I write. I have dozens of files to pack, along with some poster-sized Post-Its to keep track of my progress. I won’t know until I’m into it which chapters are light, so I have a list of women to add if necessary. I have my audio recordings of some two dozen interviews that lasted anywhere from 45 minutes to well over two hours.

I’m staying at...

When Life Gets in the Way of Writing

When Life Gets in the Way of Writing
Jun 22, 2017 by Victoria Noe
                   lovingonme.com

If you've read this blog for any length of time,  you know I've spent almost two years working on a new book. Fag Hags. Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community has taken on a life of its own. What started as a nagging idea turned into what I fully admit is an obsession to share important, previously-unknown stories of straight women around the world throughout the history of the epidemic.

Big project, right? I knew from the beginning it would be, but with each passing month it seemed to grow in scope and importance. Strangers around the world offered assistance. Interviewees laughed...

Women's History Month - AIDSWatch

Women's History Month - AIDSWatch
Mar 28, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I planned to turn over my blog again this week to another straight woman in the AIDS community. That particular post will have to wait a bit. Instead I thought it would be better to report on my day (the first of two) in Washington, DC at AIDSWatch. It's no accident, in my mind, that the conference is presented by the Elizabeth Taylor AIDS Foundation, named for once of the fiercest advocates in the history of the epidemic.

I went last year, joining a few hundred people from around the country to advocate for funding and legislation important to people living with HIV and AIDS. It was my first time lobbying in the capitol since 1989, when I advocated for the...

Women's History Month - Susan Freed

Women's History Month - Susan Freed
Mar 22, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Photo from The Advocate

It’s natural for people to assume that my book (Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community) is about women who work(ed) in the community: nurses, social workers, researchers, nonprofit executives.

But a large number do/did get involved as volunteers. Maybe they were drawn in by the illness and death of someone close to them. Or they just saw an opportunity to make a difference: to build on the diversity of the community and give back. Los Angeles resident Susan Freed, a Bank of America vice president, shared her experience June 22, 2016 in The Advocate.

 

I just completed my third AIDS/LifeCycle, a 545-mile, seven-day bike ride from San...

Women's History Month - Trudy James

Women's History Month - Trudy James
Mar 14, 2017 by Victoria Noe
AppleMark

I was referred to Trudy James by another Chicago author. It was one of those serendipitous moments. I don't know how else I would've found out about Trudy and the amazing work she has done in the AIDS community. But I guarantee you will learn more about her in my book, Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community:

 

I was accepted into a one year Pastoral Care internship at the University of Arkansas Medical Center in Little Rock in 1989. A newly-trained chaplain, from Kansas, I knew nothing about AIDS, a fearful, stigmatized disease slowly creeping into the South. I learned fast from the eight AIDS patients I served that...

Women's History Month - Kathleen Pooler

Women's History Month - Kathleen Pooler
Mar 08, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Last year for Women’s History Month, I focused on women who will likely turn up in my book, Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community. This year I’m doing the same thing.

First up is my friend, Kathleen Pooler. We met six years ago in an online book marketing class and became fast friends. She shares a common reaction from the early dark days of the epidemic: silence. And the price paid for that silence.

 

It was 1982. I was sitting at my desk contemplating the unfolding news about a mysterious virus that was creeping its way into our society and taking the lives of its victims. New details emerged every day leaving us in...

AIDS and Women's History Month

AIDS and Women's History Month
Feb 22, 2017 by Victoria Noe
ohio.edu

It’s no secret that I’m writing another book. What began as a nagging thought turned into an idea that has taken on a life of its own. Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community overwhelms me occasionally – if you define ‘occasionally’ as ‘at least once a day’.

I’ve always felt these were stories that needed to be told: how straight women around the world have been an important part of the AIDS community since the beginning of the epidemic. But a random comment from a colleague a few weeks ago opened my eyes to something much bigger.

I was telling her about the book and she said “It’s like Hidden...

Finishing Up Friend Grief

Finishing Up Friend Grief
Apr 05, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Jim Eigo, one of the men in the final Friend Grief book

I hope you enjoyed my four amazing guest bloggers last month: Nancy Duncan, Rosa E. Martinez-Colon, Eileen Dreyer and Andrea Johnson. Their perspectives as straight women in the AIDS community were unique and inspiring. If you missed any of their stories, I hope you will check them out. They’re just a sample of the formidable women you’ll meet in Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community. (By the way, you can support the extensive research for the book here.)

In a few weeks, the final book in the Friend Grief series will launch – Friend Grief and Men: Defying...

Women's History Month - Andrea Johnson

Women's History Month - Andrea Johnson
Mar 29, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Andrea Johnson

My final guest blogger for Women’s History Month is Andrea Johnson. As is often the case, we’ve never met IRL (in real life) but our paths have crossed. She found out she was HIV positive in 2007, when she was tested after learning of her ex-husband’s affair. Isolated and depressed, she made the decision to devote her life to reaching out to women most at risk or living with HIV. You will not find a more passionate advocate.

 

“How do I LOVE a woman living with HIV without acquiring HIV?”

It’s a question I get all too often from men that are HIV negative that find out a woman he may be interested in is HIV positive,...

Women's History Month - Eileen Dreyer

Women's History Month - Eileen Dreyer
Mar 22, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Eileen Dreyer

I’ve known Eileen Dreyer since the Beatles were still together, so that’s a long time; in fact, we saw them perform. While I was raising money for AIDS organizations in the late 80s and early 90s in Chicago, she was on the front lines in St. Louis. The anger is still there, as it is for many of us. Her story continues Women’s History Month:

 

I hadn't realized how angry I still was until I watched The Normal Heart. Seething angry, unresolved angry. Wishing there were someone I could scream at angry. Because I was there. I saw the beginning of the epidemic. And I'm not sure I'll forgive us for how we faced it.

I worked...

Women’s History Month – Rosa E. Martinez Colon

Women’s History Month – Rosa E. Martinez Colon
Mar 15, 2016 by Victoria Noe
I had to go Washington, DC for the US Conference on AIDS last September to meet the amazing Rosa E. Martinez-Colon. If she looks familiar, it’s because we led a lively discussion on women and AIDS on World AIDS Day at Women & Children First bookstore in Chicago. This is her story:

I remember the first time I heard about AIDS was around 1984 or so; I was still living in Puerto Rico. A neighborhood friend who was an injection drug user died after a short stay in the hospital. The rumor spread rapidly that he had “died of AIDS” – “se murió de SIDA”. Soon after, a couple other neighbors died as well; coincidentally they were either sexual partners or...

Women's History Month - Nancy Duncan

Women's History Month - Nancy Duncan
Mar 08, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Nancy Duncan

For Women’s History Month I’m sharing stories from women in the AIDS community. First up is Nancy Duncan, who I had the pleasure of meeting through ACT UP/NY. She is long-term survivor, an inspiration and a friend. My thanks to her for sharing her story.

 

Being a heterosexual woman in the early days of HIV/AIDS was very different than now. I’m 58 years old and have been living with HIV for going on 31 years. I was first diagnosed in 1990, infected by having unprotected sex with a man who didn’t know he was HIV+. I’d walked around for five years not knowing because I had no symptoms.

I didn't know anyone else who was living with...

Women's History Month

Women's History Month
Mar 01, 2016 by Victoria Noe
With ETAF Ambassador Kate Burton at AIDS Watch

March is Women’s History Month and I decided to turn over my blog to a few women who will be in my book Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community.

During the next four weeks (because there are five Tuesdays in March) you’ll meet four women. Some of them worked in the AIDS community in the early days. Some are active now in a variety of roles. Some are HIV+, some are not.

What you’ll learn may surprise you, because the role of straight women in the history of the epidemic is not one that’s widely known. In fact, “role” is a bit misleading.

They/we stepped...