Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

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online grief support

Is Everyone Grieving or Is It Just Me?

Is Everyone Grieving or Is It Just Me?
Aug 01, 2018 by Victoria Noe
It started early last year, almost from New Year's Day.

Friends on Facebook posted news of the death of a parent or a sibling or a friend. And while I didn’t usually know the person who died, I found myself affected.

“Another one?” I’d find myself thinking when I logged online. This was much more than the stereotypical ‘death comes in threes’ that we can debate another time. This was every week. I stopped counting how many friends lost a parent last year, something that spilled over into this year. Since my own mother died in March, there have been more, including one this week.

You might say, “Well, we’re at that age.” And you wouldn’t be wrong. Statistically, people my age...

Online Support for Grieving Your Friend

Online Support for Grieving Your Friend
Aug 07, 2012 by Victoria Noe
A couple years ago I researched online grief support groups for those who have lost a friend. It was not a fruitful search.Many sites – and they’re wonderful, don’t get me wrong – are specific to certain situations. There are online support groups for grieving a parent, sibling, spouse, child, pet. Some are general grief sites that have chat rooms for specific types of grief. There are sites for those who grieve a family member who died on 9/11 or committed suicide.There are online groups that are more general, concentrating on the commonalities of our grief. And like I said, they’re very good.I made a conscious decision when I started Friend Grief that it would not be an online grief...

Friend Grief in 140 Characters

Friend Grief in 140 Characters
Jul 31, 2012 by Victoria Noe
twitter.comThe Twitterverse doesn’t miss much: political gaffes, celebrity gossip, shameless self-promotion. There are writers who swear by the discipline needed to express themselves within the 140-character limit. You want breaking news – not tape-delayed, like our Olympics coverage? Log onto Twitter. That said, is it the best place to grieve?I’m not talking about the incredible hospice programs, writers, therapists and other professionals who tweet information about programs to help people work through their grief.And I’m not talking about those who tweet death notices of famous people.I’m talking about people who run to Twitter to express their grief.Twitter is a community, though a virtual one, like this blog. And let’s face it: it’s often easier to express our feelings online...

Why I Started Friend Grief

Why I Started Friend Grief
Aug 10, 2011 by Victoria Noe
I started this blog 6 months ago, so I thought it was a good time to look back and take stock.I’ve learned a lot about the technical joys and frustrations of blogging.I’ve learned a lot about the challenges of trying to stick out in an online world of blogs on every conceivable topic. This is what I wrote in my first post on February 1:Welcome to Friend Grief.  It's here to raise awareness of a powerful experience in all of our lives:  the death of a friend.  Millions of people each year suffer the pain of a friend's death, and many of them suffer more because those around them don't respect their grief. The people who are part of Friend Grief...

A Support Group Just for Friends

A Support Group Just for Friends
Jul 26, 2011 by Victoria Noe
Grief support groups are available in most communities. Some are affiliated with hospitals or hospices. Others are programs offered by religious communities or nonprofit organizations.Most offer an open group for anyone who is grieving. Everyone is welcome, even though they may be experiencing different kinds of losses (such as spouse, child, parent, friend or petBut not everyone is comfortable in a general grief support group. They may be the only one mourning a spouse, or they may feel that others in the group don’t understand that their dog was their only companion. People – rightly or wrongly – make comparisons about the level of grief they experience: “mine is worse than yours”. So specialized support groups were formed.There are groups...

Social Media Day - Grieving Your Friend Online

Jun 30, 2011 by Victoria Noe
YahooTwitterFacebookMySpaceYouTubeBloggerThe internet has become such a pervasive element in society – and in our lives – that it was inevitable that grief should find its way online.The Yahoo group my high school classmates started after 9/11 is still going strong, though its purpose has changed. My friend, Joe, started a Facebook group to keep friends up to date on the health of his partner, Dennis, who died a few months ago.There are Twitter accounts that exist to inform the world about deaths of celebrities.Blogs and websites are devoted to grief support.Is civilization better off with these resources?As much as I’m tempted to say “no”, I have to say yes. The ability of the internet to connect people not just with...

Memorializing Your Friends – StoryCorps

Memorializing Your Friends – StoryCorps
Mar 23, 2011 by Victoria Noe
One of the disadvantages some people feel when a friend dies is the inability to pay tribute to their friend.  You might give a gift in their memory to their favorite charity or cause.But we want the world to know how important and special this friend was to us; why the world is a little sadder without them.So there are blogs – not unlike this one – and Facebook tribute pages.  But another wonderful way to honor your friends is through StoryCorps.StoryCorps is an organization dedicated “to providing Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories of our lives.”I first learned about StoryCorps in conjunction with the September 11 Initiative, preserving stories...

Spreading the News Online

Spreading the News Online
Mar 14, 2011 by Victoria Noe
I have a friend who’s dying.  His partner set up a closed Facebook group to keep a group of friends and family up to date. What resulted in the past two weeks is an outpouring of love for both of them.  One friend flew to Chicago from Seattle, another from Dallas.  Others visited, called, posted on the Facebook group page.Visitors can be tiring, especially for someone close to death.  But to be there when he had a burst of energy on Saturday was a true gift.Had it not been for Facebook, it would’ve been much less likely that we would’ve all been informed.  The ease of sending messages and setting up groups or pages means that the caregiver can notify...