Victoria Noe

My ninth book - Unstoppable: Straight Women on the AIDS Frontlines - comes out in September. Like the other eight, I had a pretty good idea what the book would be about. Like the other eight, I was wrong.

How could I be wrong? I had a topic, I had leads, I had stories. It’s my book! I knew what I was writing about, even if I had to do a lot of research. But the finished manuscripts have always veered away from my original vision. The first couple of times that happened, I was, shall we say, annoyed. I probably tried to ignore what the people I interviewed were telling me, so I could stay within the parameters I’d set. But I knew I had to give up that idea to tell the truth of their stories.

The women I interviewed for F*g Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community had important stories to tell. I always kept a necessary box of Kleenex on the table during the interviews because the women were often surprised at the emotions that rose up. I assumed most of the stories would center on the relationship between gay men and straight women. Some of them did, but it was not the central focus of the book. 

Having focused mostly on the earlier days of HIV/AIDS, with Unstoppable, I decided to concentrate on the past eight years: what has changed for them? I knew I’d get an earful, and I did. But two themes emerged that I did not expect.

The first was intergenerational communication, or lack of it - an issue not unique to the HIV/AIDS community. I confess I went into this seeing these women as two distinct groups: over the age of 40 and under the age of 40. I assumed the younger women had different reasons for their involvement in HIV/AIDS than the older ones who’d been around since the early days. I was wrong. I was also surprised by what is a clear need for opportunities to bring these two groups together. They have much to learn from each other.

The second was personal faith. Both books tell stories of nuns and ministers, but other than that obvious segment of the population, faith was never mentioned in other interviews for the first book. With the second book, it came up unsolicited from a variety of women. Not just from the ones kicked out of their faith communities for being HIV-positive, but from those who turned to their faith for solace during the first Trump administration and forward to today. 

When I’m working on a book, people often ask what it’s about. My answer is some variation of “I don’t know. The people in the book haven’t told me yet.” The response is often a surprised laugh, but it’s true. The people in my books are the ones brave enough to tell their stories. My job is to let them tell their truth, and get out of the way.

I’m just grateful they trust me to do that.