Victoria Noe

Award-winning Author, Speaker, Activist

Kristie West's 30 Day Challenge

Grief and guilt seem at times to be intertwined. We regret the things we didn’t do, the things we didn’t say, when we had a chance. That’s human, but it can sometimes deepen our grief.

Now, it has been said that it takes 30 days to create a new habit (or break an old one). So, I was intrigued by Kristie West’s 30-Day Challenge.
Kristie and I are tweeps: we know each other only on Twitter. She lives in England; I live in Chicago. We’ve never met, although I hope we do something about that soon. ;)
Kristie’s website,,  is a great resource for those looking for help navigating their grief. She has challenged her followers in a unique way. Here is her announcement:

Be honest: were people already popping into your mind as you listened to this, friends you talk to every day and those you haven’t heard from in ages? Were you thinking about friends from school, from other jobs, from volunteer activities who have disappeared from your life?
We all procrastinate, assuming that you’ll get to sometimes very important tasks “someday” or even “soon.” Expressing appreciation for our friends is no different.
One a day, that’s all it takes: contact with one friend each day for 30 days, and tell them what they meant to you.
This isn’t about making amends, unless you want it to be. This is about showing appreciation for someone who has made a difference in your life. This is about doing it now, while you can. This is about avoiding guilt later on for not doing it.
Don’t know 30 people to contact? Oh, you can probably think of a lot more than 30 if you put your mind to it. But if 30 feels too intimidating, try 5 or 10.
Stop making excuses and take the challenge. Once you’re in the habit of telling your friends how important they are, you’ll do it effortlessly.
It costs nothing, other than time, something that’s in limited supply for us all.