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Friend Grief and Survivor Guilt

Friend Grief and Survivor Guilt
Jan 25, 2013 by Victoria Noe
realwarriors.netIt’s a situation no one wants to find themselves in, but if you are a first responder or in the military, it’s likely. For some unfortunate people who are not in those professions, it can be even more devastating. In David Halberstam’s book The Firehouse, he recounts the story of his neighborhood firehouse, near Lincoln Center on New York’s upper west side. On September 11, 2001, thirteen firefighters raced to the scene of the World Trade Center attack. One returned. The only reason he survived is that a photographer saw his arm sticking out of the rubble at Ground Zero. Not only did he suffer from guilt, but some people hated him for surviving: why him and not one...

I Might Want to Interview You

I Might Want to Interview You
Dec 21, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Despite the holidays, I'm currently researching the third and fourth books in the Friend Grief series. One is on the experience of grieving the death of a friend in community, the other in the workplace. Part of that research is interviewing men and women who have gone through this.There are several demographics I’m interested in:Police FirefightersMedical personnel (all levels, but not those who work in a doctor’s office)NunsPerforming artists (musicians, actors, dancers, singers)MonksMilitarySenior citizens The criteria for all demographics are the same:They must have experienced the death of a friend they worked with (except senior citizens – for that group it’s a friend they lived with in a retirement community).They need not be currently working at that job.They must be...

Memorial Day - Remembering Military Friends

Memorial Day - Remembering Military Friends
May 25, 2012 by Victoria Noe
Seaman Robert F. NoeI intended to spend today considering responses to Wednesday's post about whether online friends are 'worth' grieving. But responses are still coming in, so I decided to let that topic percolate for a week. So if you want to join that discussion, feel free.Below is my post from last Memorial Day. We won't actually celebrate it until Monday, but I think it's worth looking at again, with a recommendation of how you can show your appreciation to our troops.I was thinking today, Memorial Day, about my father. He enlisted in the Navy in January, 1946, at the age of 17. Too late for the war, he spent two years up and down the coast of California. He...

Calling All Girlfriends!

Calling All Girlfriends!
May 11, 2012 by Victoria Noe
vintagesusie&wings.comI started out writing my book believing I knew one thing for sure: I’d have no trouble finding women to talk about grieving a friend.And that was true. But, as I’ve written here before, the men surprised me with their willingness not just to talk: sometimes they offered to talk, unsolicited. As a result, I currently have an imbalance of male/female stories in my book.Now I’m looking for more women to interview. I’m particularly looking for women who have grieved a friend (male or female) with the following special circumstances:            You’re a member of a religious community            You’re a first responder or militaryYou channeled your grief into action by supporting a cause that either helped your friend or was otherwise...

Band of Friends

Band of Friends
May 30, 2011 by Victoria Noe
Robert Noe - 1946I was thinking today, Memorial Day, about my father. He enlisted in the Navy in January, 1946, at the age of 17. Too late for the war, he spent two years up and down the coast of California. He talked about the men he served with in much the same way as we’ve become used to in movies and on TV.We've seen many over the years - sprawling blockbusters, quiet reflections, black & white and color - on the big screen and on TV. Each is a little different, a slightly different take on war, death, life, friendship, purpose:Band of BrothersThe Great Escape“Combat!”Apocalypse Now“JAG”The Longest DayPatton“NCIS”The Great SantiniMovies and TV shows about war and the military are...