Blog
Women's History Month - Kathleen Pooler
Mar 08, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Last year for Women’s History Month, I focused on women who will likely turn up in my book, Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community. This year I’m doing the same thing.
First up is my friend, Kathleen Pooler. We met six years ago in an online book marketing class and became fast friends. She shares a common reaction from the early dark days of the epidemic: silence. And the price paid for that silence.
It was 1982. I was sitting at my desk contemplating the unfolding news about a mysterious virus that was creeping its way into our society and taking the lives of its victims. New details emerged every day leaving us in...
First up is my friend, Kathleen Pooler. We met six years ago in an online book marketing class and became fast friends. She shares a common reaction from the early dark days of the epidemic: silence. And the price paid for that silence.
It was 1982. I was sitting at my desk contemplating the unfolding news about a mysterious virus that was creeping its way into our society and taking the lives of its victims. New details emerged every day leaving us in...
How Authors Are Rewarded
Mar 01, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Last Saturday I was part of “Path to Published”, a panel discussion put together by Chicago Writers Association. I think I can say that all of us on the panel had a great time talking about our various experiences: self-publishing, traditional and hybrid publishing.
One of the questions has really stuck with me since then. It was one that’s fairly common, one that everyone is asked eventually:
“What’s the most rewarding thing about being a writer?”
There are the obvious things: lots of people buying your books, great reviews, awards, crowds at your book signings. But that’s not what I talked about. My answer was in two parts.
With my Friend Grief series, I knew I had a hard sell. Grief is not a...
One of the questions has really stuck with me since then. It was one that’s fairly common, one that everyone is asked eventually:
“What’s the most rewarding thing about being a writer?”
There are the obvious things: lots of people buying your books, great reviews, awards, crowds at your book signings. But that’s not what I talked about. My answer was in two parts.
With my Friend Grief series, I knew I had a hard sell. Grief is not a...
AIDS and Women's History Month
Feb 22, 2017 by Victoria Noe
ohio.edu
It’s no secret that I’m writing another book. What began as a nagging thought turned into an idea that has taken on a life of its own. Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community overwhelms me occasionally – if you define ‘occasionally’ as ‘at least once a day’.
I’ve always felt these were stories that needed to be told: how straight women around the world have been an important part of the AIDS community since the beginning of the epidemic. But a random comment from a colleague a few weeks ago opened my eyes to something much bigger.
I was telling her about the book and she said “It’s like Hidden...
It’s no secret that I’m writing another book. What began as a nagging thought turned into an idea that has taken on a life of its own. Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community overwhelms me occasionally – if you define ‘occasionally’ as ‘at least once a day’.
I’ve always felt these were stories that needed to be told: how straight women around the world have been an important part of the AIDS community since the beginning of the epidemic. But a random comment from a colleague a few weeks ago opened my eyes to something much bigger.
I was telling her about the book and she said “It’s like Hidden...
Delayed Grief on Facebook
Feb 15, 2017 by Victoria Noe
how-to-geek
A friend found out recently that an old friend of hers died…a year ago. They’d lost touch, as friends often do. But when she saw a post noting the first anniversary of this man’s passing, she was not prepared.
Sometimes people cannot grieve a friend’s death immediately. Soldiers in combat can’t take the time to grieve in the midst of battle. They have to push their grief aside. Anytime grief is delayed, there’s a chance that it will pop up when least expected.
One of the men I interviewed for Friend Grief and Men: Defying Stereotypes was frustrated when the widow of his best friend did not hold a memorial service for almost nine months. He felt adrift,...
A friend found out recently that an old friend of hers died…a year ago. They’d lost touch, as friends often do. But when she saw a post noting the first anniversary of this man’s passing, she was not prepared.
Sometimes people cannot grieve a friend’s death immediately. Soldiers in combat can’t take the time to grieve in the midst of battle. They have to push their grief aside. Anytime grief is delayed, there’s a chance that it will pop up when least expected.
One of the men I interviewed for Friend Grief and Men: Defying Stereotypes was frustrated when the widow of his best friend did not hold a memorial service for almost nine months. He felt adrift,...
How Can You Write at a Time Like This?
Feb 01, 2017 by Victoria Noe
A lot of writers I know have been struggling these past few months. Their fears about the future are on display, in their online posts and in their writing. Anxiety is rampant. So is insomnia. The news of the past two weeks has only heightened their concerns.
They are a diverse group: men and women, all the major religions, every race and generation. They live in the US and other countries. They write fiction and nonfiction, memoir and science fiction/fantasy, poetry and children’s literature.
And every one of them seems to be asking themselves the same question: How can you write at a time like this?
Writing almost seems superfluous, a luxury we can’t afford. We have to keep our eye on the...
They are a diverse group: men and women, all the major religions, every race and generation. They live in the US and other countries. They write fiction and nonfiction, memoir and science fiction/fantasy, poetry and children’s literature.
And every one of them seems to be asking themselves the same question: How can you write at a time like this?
Writing almost seems superfluous, a luxury we can’t afford. We have to keep our eye on the...
Who Tells Your Story?
Jan 24, 2017 by Victoria Noe
mnu.edu
“Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?” – Hamilton: An American Musical
The best movie I’ve seen in a long time is Hidden Figures, the story of the African-American female mathematicians who helped NASA put men in space. I’m old enough to remember the Mercury astronauts and when a space launch was reason to gather your family around the TV. Everyone we ever saw in the NASA control rooms was a white man. So when the movie – and book by Margot Lee Shetterly – were released, the most common reaction was “I never knew that.” The second most common reaction was “Why haven’t we heard this story before?”
Hidden Figures is not the first book or...
“Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?” – Hamilton: An American Musical
The best movie I’ve seen in a long time is Hidden Figures, the story of the African-American female mathematicians who helped NASA put men in space. I’m old enough to remember the Mercury astronauts and when a space launch was reason to gather your family around the TV. Everyone we ever saw in the NASA control rooms was a white man. So when the movie – and book by Margot Lee Shetterly – were released, the most common reaction was “I never knew that.” The second most common reaction was “Why haven’t we heard this story before?”
Hidden Figures is not the first book or...
Why Editing is Like Physical Therapy
Jan 18, 2017 by Victoria Noe
My hand, 3 days after my accident
The end of October I fell and broke my hand. It was the first time I’ve ever broken a bone and I made up for lost time by breaking four of them. A few hours later, I was in surgery having five pins inserted (being awake for it wasn’t so bad, but I could’ve done without listening to the drill). The pins stayed in for almost five weeks. Physical therapy (more accurately, occupational therapy) began less than two weeks after the accident.
It’s a long road: at least another month of twice/weekly torture sessions and two dozen daily exercises. Full recovery will take a year, so I have a ways to...
The end of October I fell and broke my hand. It was the first time I’ve ever broken a bone and I made up for lost time by breaking four of them. A few hours later, I was in surgery having five pins inserted (being awake for it wasn’t so bad, but I could’ve done without listening to the drill). The pins stayed in for almost five weeks. Physical therapy (more accurately, occupational therapy) began less than two weeks after the accident.
It’s a long road: at least another month of twice/weekly torture sessions and two dozen daily exercises. Full recovery will take a year, so I have a ways to...
New Year, New Book, New Day
Jan 11, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I’m a little weird about calendars. I’ll buy a planner in the fall, so I can start writing down commitments in the next year. But I refuse to put up a new wall calendar until January 1. This year I had a lot of events to add. Having my writing career – and other things – come to a full stop after breaking my hand, I’m finally beginning to play catch-up. I’m not fully healed yet, but the calendar is filling up.
Travel begins the end of March. I start where I finished so abruptly last October: New York, to conduct the interviews I had to cancel after my accident. Then it’s down to Washington, DC for AIDSWatch, two days of...
Travel begins the end of March. I start where I finished so abruptly last October: New York, to conduct the interviews I had to cancel after my accident. Then it’s down to Washington, DC for AIDSWatch, two days of...
Grief, Loss and The Hallmark Channel
Jan 04, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Normally after a traumatic event I try to make sense of it. After 9/11 I was glued to the TV, watching everything trying to understand what was impossible to understand. But after the Pulse nightclub massacre in Orlando last June that left 49 people dead, I couldn’t watch anything on the news. Not a thing. So I did something I’d never done before:
I watched a Hallmark Channel movie. Actually, I watched a lot of them because there are actually two Hallmark Channels (one is Movies and Mysteries).
There was a certain comfort in the predictability: no violence to speak of. Dead bodies were remarkably intact, no blood or missing limbs. The plots of what were mostly mysteries were easily solved in...
I watched a Hallmark Channel movie. Actually, I watched a lot of them because there are actually two Hallmark Channels (one is Movies and Mysteries).
There was a certain comfort in the predictability: no violence to speak of. Dead bodies were remarkably intact, no blood or missing limbs. The plots of what were mostly mysteries were easily solved in...
Travel Tips for Writers
Dec 14, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Brooklyn
My friend, Porter Anderson, wrote about the importance of travel for writers. Sometimes all it takes is some alone time in a different place to dissolve writer’s block, recharge your batteries or find inspiration. And we all agree we’d do more of it if we could.
What’s stopping you?
Money.
I thought I’d expand on Porter’s tips (he won't mind), since a lot of us are making plans for 2017. Here are some ways you can make those trips happen:
Lodging. Be flexible, but loyal. Are there places you return to time and again? I’m in New York a lot. There are two hotels I’ve returned to over a dozen times. Because they’re both part of the same brand loyalty...
My friend, Porter Anderson, wrote about the importance of travel for writers. Sometimes all it takes is some alone time in a different place to dissolve writer’s block, recharge your batteries or find inspiration. And we all agree we’d do more of it if we could.
What’s stopping you?
Money.
I thought I’d expand on Porter’s tips (he won't mind), since a lot of us are making plans for 2017. Here are some ways you can make those trips happen:
Lodging. Be flexible, but loyal. Are there places you return to time and again? I’m in New York a lot. There are two hotels I’ve returned to over a dozen times. Because they’re both part of the same brand loyalty...
'Tis the Season for Writing and Giving
Nov 30, 2016 by Victoria Noe
It’s that time of year for shopping and digging a little deeper to support worthy causes.
The appeals are relentless: junk mail, phone calls, emails, tweets and Facebook posts. Every day, starting in earnest at Thanksgiving and not letting up until New Year’s Eve. As a former fundraiser, I’ve learned over the years to ignore most of those appeals.
But the truth is, most people really do want to help. And every donation helps.
Early on in the writing of the Friend Grief series, I knew I wanted to designate a charity partner for at least one of the books. I researched organizations, met with a few of their founders. One decision came easily.
The second book –Friend Grief and AIDS: Thirty Years of...
The appeals are relentless: junk mail, phone calls, emails, tweets and Facebook posts. Every day, starting in earnest at Thanksgiving and not letting up until New Year’s Eve. As a former fundraiser, I’ve learned over the years to ignore most of those appeals.
But the truth is, most people really do want to help. And every donation helps.
Early on in the writing of the Friend Grief series, I knew I wanted to designate a charity partner for at least one of the books. I researched organizations, met with a few of their founders. One decision came easily.
The second book –Friend Grief and AIDS: Thirty Years of...
Holidays and Friend Grief
Nov 22, 2016 by Victoria Noe
It's been a tough year, as I wrote last week. Many of us lost friends and the holidays are not always kind for those who grieve. So I'm sharing this post from 2012 as a reminder to take care of ourselves and keep our friendships in our hearts:
I hated the holidays – Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day – when I was single and not dating. I felt like it was the annual reminder from the universe that I was alone. Everyone had someone during the holidays except me. At least that’s what it felt like.
It’s hard to lose a friend, whether they were our best friend, a co-worker, a neighbor, the girl whose locker was next to ours. The holidays are...
I hated the holidays – Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day – when I was single and not dating. I felt like it was the annual reminder from the universe that I was alone. Everyone had someone during the holidays except me. At least that’s what it felt like.
It’s hard to lose a friend, whether they were our best friend, a co-worker, a neighbor, the girl whose locker was next to ours. The holidays are...
The Year of Grieving
Nov 15, 2016 by Victoria Noe
“I love you for my life, you are a friend of mine, and when my life is over, remember when we were together, we were alone and I was singing this song to you.” - Leon Russell (1942-2016)
It's been a hell of a year: Prince. Bowie. Natalie Cole. Alan Rickman. Pat Conroy. Leonard Cohen. Brian Bedford. Tammy Grimes. George Martin. Joe Garagiola. Patty Duke. Muhammad Ali. Gwen Ifill. Elie Wiesel. Gene Wilder. Edward Albee. Arnold Palmer. Robert Vaughn. And that's a partial list. I feel like I've been in mourning since New Year's Day, when Jo Stewart, the leader of my first writing group, died. And I guess that's true. The people on that list weren't friends. I have a letter from one who I dared to...
A Bump in the Road
Nov 02, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Ugly, isn't it?
This week's blog post is short but not so sweet.
The first week of my trip to New York was amazing. I attended a panel discussion that included Kelsey Louie, Executive Director of GMHC (Gay Men's Health Crisis) and one of its founders, Larry Kramer. I heard another panel speak on the narrativization of AIDS in the dance community.
I interviewed ten amazing women who you'll meet in Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community.
I launched my Indiegogo campaign to support the book. I was on a roll.
And then I wasn't.
On Saturday I tripped and fell, breaking two fingers. Had surgery to insert 5 pins that will be removed in a month. I'm...
This week's blog post is short but not so sweet.
The first week of my trip to New York was amazing. I attended a panel discussion that included Kelsey Louie, Executive Director of GMHC (Gay Men's Health Crisis) and one of its founders, Larry Kramer. I heard another panel speak on the narrativization of AIDS in the dance community.
I interviewed ten amazing women who you'll meet in Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community.
I launched my Indiegogo campaign to support the book. I was on a roll.
And then I wasn't.
On Saturday I tripped and fell, breaking two fingers. Had surgery to insert 5 pins that will be removed in a month. I'm...
The Next Stage for My Next Book
Oct 26, 2016 by Victoria Noe
I'll be there this week interviewing women for the book.
I’m back…in New York, that is. The last couple trips here I was doing research for my next book, Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community. I’m on a first-name basis with the research librarians at the New York Public Library (5th Avenue and Lincoln Center). They’ve been a great help to me: “That tape is out for digitization, but I took the liberty of pulling the transcript for you.”
This trip marks the next stage for the book. I’m not done with the research; not by a long shot. But between previous visits here, research online and at the U...
I’m back…in New York, that is. The last couple trips here I was doing research for my next book, Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community. I’m on a first-name basis with the research librarians at the New York Public Library (5th Avenue and Lincoln Center). They’ve been a great help to me: “That tape is out for digitization, but I took the liberty of pulling the transcript for you.”
This trip marks the next stage for the book. I’m not done with the research; not by a long shot. But between previous visits here, research online and at the U...
My Day at a Library Conference
Oct 20, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Sharing a table with James Gordon
In a former life, I was a vendor for Chicago Public Schools. I repped two children’s book publishers (one at a time) for fifteen years, working mostly with the school librarians. That experience could be a book in itself.
Occasionally, I had a booth at an educational conference: statewide library or teacher gatherings. I had the whole booth to myself (at considerable expense). I hauled boxes and boxes of inventory to set-up and sell, along with catalogs and order forms. It was hard work, but I usually did well. I almost always did it alone. That wasn’t unusual. A lot of vendors ran their booths alone. Only the really big companies had...
In a former life, I was a vendor for Chicago Public Schools. I repped two children’s book publishers (one at a time) for fifteen years, working mostly with the school librarians. That experience could be a book in itself.
Occasionally, I had a booth at an educational conference: statewide library or teacher gatherings. I had the whole booth to myself (at considerable expense). I hauled boxes and boxes of inventory to set-up and sell, along with catalogs and order forms. It was hard work, but I usually did well. I almost always did it alone. That wasn’t unusual. A lot of vendors ran their booths alone. Only the really big companies had...
Friend Grief and Facebook Memories
Oct 12, 2016 by Victoria Noe
If you’ve been on Facebook for any length of time, you’ve probably noticed the daily “Facebook Memories” that pop up.
Your comments, photos and shared posts are resurrected by Facebook every day. I find them mostly fun reminders of where I was and what I was doing a year or two or six ago. I enjoy seeing other people’s memories pop up, too. But sometimes, the reminders are not so pleasant.
Facebook doesn’t discriminate. The reminders can be of natural disasters or violence. They can be of joyous occasions. Sometimes, though, the reminders are bittersweet at best. Because sometimes they remind us of the friends we grieve.
For one friend, a birthday memory he posted a year ago popped up, the memory of...
Your comments, photos and shared posts are resurrected by Facebook every day. I find them mostly fun reminders of where I was and what I was doing a year or two or six ago. I enjoy seeing other people’s memories pop up, too. But sometimes, the reminders are not so pleasant.
Facebook doesn’t discriminate. The reminders can be of natural disasters or violence. They can be of joyous occasions. Sometimes, though, the reminders are bittersweet at best. Because sometimes they remind us of the friends we grieve.
For one friend, a birthday memory he posted a year ago popped up, the memory of...
Indie Authors, Libraries and Discoverability
Oct 05, 2016 by Victoria Noe
123rf.com
What’s the hardest part of being an author?
Some people will say it’s the writing itself. Others insist it’s the editing process. But most will agree that the hardest part is figuring out how to be discovered by eager readers.
The challenge – no matter how they publish – is for their book to rise above the ever-increasing numbers of titles published each year. For those of us who are indie authors, it is daunting.
Bowker, the company that issues ISBN numbers to authors in the US, just released their report on 2015. Last year 625,327 indie titles were issued ISBN numbers in the US. That’s over 1,700 each and every day, weekends and holidays included.
Now consider the fact...
What’s the hardest part of being an author?
Some people will say it’s the writing itself. Others insist it’s the editing process. But most will agree that the hardest part is figuring out how to be discovered by eager readers.
The challenge – no matter how they publish – is for their book to rise above the ever-increasing numbers of titles published each year. For those of us who are indie authors, it is daunting.
Bowker, the company that issues ISBN numbers to authors in the US, just released their report on 2015. Last year 625,327 indie titles were issued ISBN numbers in the US. That’s over 1,700 each and every day, weekends and holidays included.
Now consider the fact...
A Grand Slam for a Friend
Sep 28, 2016 by Victoria Noe
Jose Fernandez - ESPN.com
Anyone who’s a baseball fan – and probably a lot who aren’t – heard about the tragic death of Miami Marlins star pitcher, Jose Fernandez. The 24 year old died along with two other men in a boating accident Saturday night.
I couldn’t help but think of the 2002 death of St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Daryl Kile, who died of a heart attack during a road trip in Chicago. His was the first death of a major league player during the regular season since Yankee great Thurman Munson died in a plane crash in 1979.
I wrote about Kile and his teammates’ reactions to his death – both immediately and long-term – in my book...
Anyone who’s a baseball fan – and probably a lot who aren’t – heard about the tragic death of Miami Marlins star pitcher, Jose Fernandez. The 24 year old died along with two other men in a boating accident Saturday night.
I couldn’t help but think of the 2002 death of St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Daryl Kile, who died of a heart attack during a road trip in Chicago. His was the first death of a major league player during the regular season since Yankee great Thurman Munson died in a plane crash in 1979.
I wrote about Kile and his teammates’ reactions to his death – both immediately and long-term – in my book...
Mark Your Calendar for Indie Author Day
Sep 21, 2016 by Victoria Noe
I love libraries, don't you? But until recently, my books were not available there, in print or ebook. That changed when the first four Friend Grief ebooks were accepted by Library Journal's SELF-e program for their Illinois and National Select collections. Print, however, was a different story.
Authors want to see their books in public libraries: actual, physical books. But too often, indie authors are shut out. The reasons are, well, reasonable. The sheer number of indie authors is growing every day. The number of librarians is much smaller. They simply don’t have the time to meet and greet every author who walks in to sell their books.
Purchasing requirements vary from library system to library system. When you’re on your own...
Authors want to see their books in public libraries: actual, physical books. But too often, indie authors are shut out. The reasons are, well, reasonable. The sheer number of indie authors is growing every day. The number of librarians is much smaller. They simply don’t have the time to meet and greet every author who walks in to sell their books.
Purchasing requirements vary from library system to library system. When you’re on your own...
Author photo by Alina Oswald
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