Blog
When Your Friend's Death is in the Headlines
Feb 15, 2018 by Victoria Noe
Cmdr. Paul Bauer
I didn’t listen to the radio in the car as I drove back to Chicago from St. Louis yesterday, so it wasn’t until I turned on the TV that I saw the breaking news. A Chicago police commander had been shot to death downtown, in the state office building. There was something about a suspicious person, a robbery attempt, but no name given.
My husband was preparing for his organization’s annual meeting that evening when he texted, asking if I was home. When I replied that I was, he called to tell me that the officer was the commander he’s worked with for years, Paul Bauer. What had not been the best of days became...
I didn’t listen to the radio in the car as I drove back to Chicago from St. Louis yesterday, so it wasn’t until I turned on the TV that I saw the breaking news. A Chicago police commander had been shot to death downtown, in the state office building. There was something about a suspicious person, a robbery attempt, but no name given.
My husband was preparing for his organization’s annual meeting that evening when he texted, asking if I was home. When I replied that I was, he called to tell me that the officer was the commander he’s worked with for years, Paul Bauer. What had not been the best of days became...
A Winter Olympics Story within a Story
Feb 06, 2018 by Victoria Noe
theplayerstribune.com
People love surprises. Well, I don’t, but that’s a different story. The kind of surprises I like are an unexpected twist in the plot of a movie or book. Sometimes the surprise is shocking, sometimes funny. And sometimes, it’s life-changing.
The Winter Olympics begin soon in PyeongChang, South Korea. Like most big sports events, human interest stories about the athletes are featured in the media. It’s a way of making a connection with these talented (mostly) young people at the height of their careers. Once you feel like you ‘know’ them, you’re more likely to tune in to their events and maybe others as well.
This morning I was reading an article about an athlete already in the...
People love surprises. Well, I don’t, but that’s a different story. The kind of surprises I like are an unexpected twist in the plot of a movie or book. Sometimes the surprise is shocking, sometimes funny. And sometimes, it’s life-changing.
The Winter Olympics begin soon in PyeongChang, South Korea. Like most big sports events, human interest stories about the athletes are featured in the media. It’s a way of making a connection with these talented (mostly) young people at the height of their careers. Once you feel like you ‘know’ them, you’re more likely to tune in to their events and maybe others as well.
This morning I was reading an article about an athlete already in the...
Dead Friends in My Address Book
Jan 24, 2018 by Victoria Noe
My address book
I have an address book. A real, honest-to-God address book. I’m not sure when I got it, but it’s at least 25 years old. There are tabs for each letter of the alphabet. Each entry includes lines for name, address and phone number. And it’s a mess. Sometimes I correct addresses and phone numbers, sometimes I just tear off the return address from their latest Christmas card and stick it in the front.
Recently, I had reason to go through my mother’s address book. She’s almost 89, and I was a bit surprised that she updated hers in a way I didn’t: she noted when a friend died.
I’ve gone through mine - mostly during the...
I have an address book. A real, honest-to-God address book. I’m not sure when I got it, but it’s at least 25 years old. There are tabs for each letter of the alphabet. Each entry includes lines for name, address and phone number. And it’s a mess. Sometimes I correct addresses and phone numbers, sometimes I just tear off the return address from their latest Christmas card and stick it in the front.
Recently, I had reason to go through my mother’s address book. She’s almost 89, and I was a bit surprised that she updated hers in a way I didn’t: she noted when a friend died.
I’ve gone through mine - mostly during the...
What's Your Word of the Year?
Jan 17, 2018 by Victoria Noe
elizabethrider.com
A lot of friends of mine have decided to pick a word as their theme, their mantra for 2018. Some have chosen interesting words like ‘fearless’ or ‘joy’. Mary Schmich, in the Chicago Tribune, shared some of her readers’ choices. For a while, the whole thing struck me as silly.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, though I am fond of to-do lists. I made a list of goals for my writing this year. I will probably fall short, but that’s okay. I’ll be happy if I only meet half of them because that will mean that I’m working smarter than I did last year.
Having said that, the idea of picking one word for my mantra started...
A lot of friends of mine have decided to pick a word as their theme, their mantra for 2018. Some have chosen interesting words like ‘fearless’ or ‘joy’. Mary Schmich, in the Chicago Tribune, shared some of her readers’ choices. For a while, the whole thing struck me as silly.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, though I am fond of to-do lists. I made a list of goals for my writing this year. I will probably fall short, but that’s okay. I’ll be happy if I only meet half of them because that will mean that I’m working smarter than I did last year.
Having said that, the idea of picking one word for my mantra started...
Old Friends
Jan 11, 2018 by Victoria Noe
The title of this week’s blog post is one of my favorite Simon & Garfunkel songs. I was a teenager when the song was released, and the old friends sitting on a park bench were not people I related to. They were...old. They were slow-moving. Nothing like me or my friends.
But time has a way of changing things. There are friends in my life who I’ve known for decades. Some have stayed in my life continuously. Others - and I think this is more typical - have moved in and out. But as I get older, those friends are the ones who have moved closer.
I’ve watched my 88 year old mother’s world shrinking as friends and family members die. But...
But time has a way of changing things. There are friends in my life who I’ve known for decades. Some have stayed in my life continuously. Others - and I think this is more typical - have moved in and out. But as I get older, those friends are the ones who have moved closer.
I’ve watched my 88 year old mother’s world shrinking as friends and family members die. But...
A New Year! A New Me?
Jan 04, 2018 by Victoria Noe
bookcovercafe.com
Every January 1st, people make New Year’s resolutions. They commit to making changes: positive changes. Some want to lose weight, exercise more, travel. Others hope to change careers or go back to school. And though I didn’t really make resolutions about my personal life (or rather, none I’m willing to share) I do have to make one big one in my writing life.
For years, the word many authors feared was ‘platform’. We were told we had to have one, had to build one, had to maintain it constantly - even if we weren’t quite sure what it was. Now I rarely hear that kind of advice given with the urgency I heard in 2011.
Now the...
Every January 1st, people make New Year’s resolutions. They commit to making changes: positive changes. Some want to lose weight, exercise more, travel. Others hope to change careers or go back to school. And though I didn’t really make resolutions about my personal life (or rather, none I’m willing to share) I do have to make one big one in my writing life.
For years, the word many authors feared was ‘platform’. We were told we had to have one, had to build one, had to maintain it constantly - even if we weren’t quite sure what it was. Now I rarely hear that kind of advice given with the urgency I heard in 2011.
Now the...
The Last Blog Post of 2017
Dec 21, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Deposit Photos
Like many of you, I’m a bit over-committed these days: presents to wrap (assuming they’re already bought), cards to mail, travel arrangements to finalize.
I started writing this blog post last week. It included a bunch of year-end helpful hints. And then I decided I wasn’t going to do that. Social media is full of year-end helpful hints. What I really needed to do was, well, look back.
Last December I was in rehab for my broken writing hand. I was still doing things with my left hand only: not just personal care but decorating the Christmas tree. Yes, I put on the ornaments and tinsel without breaking anything else, which was kind of a miracle....
Like many of you, I’m a bit over-committed these days: presents to wrap (assuming they’re already bought), cards to mail, travel arrangements to finalize.
I started writing this blog post last week. It included a bunch of year-end helpful hints. And then I decided I wasn’t going to do that. Social media is full of year-end helpful hints. What I really needed to do was, well, look back.
Last December I was in rehab for my broken writing hand. I was still doing things with my left hand only: not just personal care but decorating the Christmas tree. Yes, I put on the ornaments and tinsel without breaking anything else, which was kind of a miracle....
Books for the Special People on Your Holiday List: Part 2
Dec 14, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Last week I offered some shopping suggestions for the hard-to-buy people on your list. All turned out to be nonfiction and memoir by women. This week’s list is equally eclectic, with books by men and women this time.
For your writing group leader, who always begins your meetings with a writing prompt - Question of the Day: Where Truth is the Dare by Al Katkowsky
For the theatre fan in your life, as well as the person who can’t read enough history - Hamilton: The Revolution by Jeremy McCarter and Lin-Manuel Miranda
For nonfiction writers at all phases of their careers - Draft No. 4: On the Writing Process by John McPhee
For anyone curious about the experience of Muslim immigrants to the US, a very...
For your writing group leader, who always begins your meetings with a writing prompt - Question of the Day: Where Truth is the Dare by Al Katkowsky
For the theatre fan in your life, as well as the person who can’t read enough history - Hamilton: The Revolution by Jeremy McCarter and Lin-Manuel Miranda
For nonfiction writers at all phases of their careers - Draft No. 4: On the Writing Process by John McPhee
For anyone curious about the experience of Muslim immigrants to the US, a very...
Books for the Special People on Your Holiday List: Part 1
Dec 07, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I was inspired by Sandra Beckwith’s post on the Build Book Buzz blog, suggesting holiday gifts for writers. It got me thinking about books I've loved and love to give to friends. So in that spirit, here are a few I’d like to recommend. In the interest of full disclosure, most are by writers I know. All are by writers I admire.
For the Nasty Woman in your life - Nasty Women: Feminism, Resistance and Revolution in Trump’s America by Samhita Mukhopadhyay and Kate Harding
For the daughter who lives and loves basketball - Home Sweet Hardwood: A Title IX Trailblazer Breaks Through Barriers for Basketball by Pat McKinzie
For the friend looking for the courage to leave an abusive relationship - Ever...
For the Nasty Woman in your life - Nasty Women: Feminism, Resistance and Revolution in Trump’s America by Samhita Mukhopadhyay and Kate Harding
For the daughter who lives and loves basketball - Home Sweet Hardwood: A Title IX Trailblazer Breaks Through Barriers for Basketball by Pat McKinzie
For the friend looking for the courage to leave an abusive relationship - Ever...
World AIDS Day 2017
Nov 28, 2017 by Victoria Noe
On the first World AIDS Day, 1988, I was in London enjoying a performance of The Secret of Sherlock Holmes, with Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke reprising the BBC portrayals I watched on PBS. I was already starting to work in the AIDS community in Chicago: a little volunteering, an increasing amount of grant writing for new organizations that couldn’t afford to put a development person on staff. Gay men - famous and not - were disappearing, only to have their deaths attributed to ‘a long illness’. No one was fooled. We all knew what was going on.
Though it wasn’t why I went to London, I think I probably had some belief that I could get away from AIDS. As...
Though it wasn’t why I went to London, I think I probably had some belief that I could get away from AIDS. As...
First Draft and Beyond
Nov 16, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I returned to Chicago on Sunday after almost three weeks away in New York. Like my trip there in May, I hunkered down on the upper west side to crank out the first draft of my next book (Fag Hags, Divas and Moms: The Legacy of Straight Women in the AIDS Community). How did I do? Well, that depends…
Word count: I had a specific word count in mind and I fell short. I got to 75% of the goal, which isn’t horrible, but not what I’d hoped. Why I fell short can be blamed on two things. First, I made the biggest mistake you can make on a first draft: I self-edited. I didn’t realize it until I was half-way...
Word count: I had a specific word count in mind and I fell short. I got to 75% of the goal, which isn’t horrible, but not what I’d hoped. Why I fell short can be blamed on two things. First, I made the biggest mistake you can make on a first draft: I self-edited. I didn’t realize it until I was half-way...
Not My Time
Nov 09, 2017 by Victoria Noe
nytimes.com
I returned to the little hotel I’m staying at late afternoon on Halloween. Just as I walked in, an alert chimed. Before I could read it, the phone rang. It was my daughter, in London. That was odd. Since she left in September for grad school we only talked at prearranged times. When I answered, she was crying. It took a couple minutes to figure out that she’d seen the alert before I did, though I was only a few miles away from what happened.
It was the terrorist attack in lower Manhattan, within sight of the 9/11 Memorial. That morning I’d chatted with someone from an organization that will be featured in my book. We discussed...
I returned to the little hotel I’m staying at late afternoon on Halloween. Just as I walked in, an alert chimed. Before I could read it, the phone rang. It was my daughter, in London. That was odd. Since she left in September for grad school we only talked at prearranged times. When I answered, she was crying. It took a couple minutes to figure out that she’d seen the alert before I did, though I was only a few miles away from what happened.
It was the terrorist attack in lower Manhattan, within sight of the 9/11 Memorial. That morning I’d chatted with someone from an organization that will be featured in my book. We discussed...
"Writing Comes Last"
Nov 02, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I was having lunch with one of my best friends. We’ve known each other since high school (LBJ was still president), so that’s a long time.
She’s been a successful writer for decades and now our occasional lunches include swapping information and commiserating about the business.
The past year has been a challenge for both of us, particularly health-wise. We’ve both faced medical situations that were unexpected and physically demanding. But we’re past them (knock wood). And because life itself is complicated and messy, there are continuing, long-term challenges unrelated to our health.
At one point she ticked off a list of everything and finished with, “And writing comes last.”
I’ve been self-employed most of my life, working from home. A lot of people...
She’s been a successful writer for decades and now our occasional lunches include swapping information and commiserating about the business.
The past year has been a challenge for both of us, particularly health-wise. We’ve both faced medical situations that were unexpected and physically demanding. But we’re past them (knock wood). And because life itself is complicated and messy, there are continuing, long-term challenges unrelated to our health.
At one point she ticked off a list of everything and finished with, “And writing comes last.”
I’ve been self-employed most of my life, working from home. A lot of people...
What a Difference a Year Makes
Oct 25, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Nov. 1, 2016
Every morning Facebook shows me Memories from my newsfeed: posts I shared on that day in previous years. Some of them are funny. Some are occasionally sad, like birthday greetings for a friend who died.
Lately, those Memories have led off with my posts from my trip to New York a year ago. I was there to interview women for my next book and do more research at the New York Public Library’s Lincoln Center branch. As luck would have it, I was able to catch a couple of presentations that were related to my research.
As the Memories pop up each morning, I’m amazed at how much I accomplished and how excited I was. My...
Every morning Facebook shows me Memories from my newsfeed: posts I shared on that day in previous years. Some of them are funny. Some are occasionally sad, like birthday greetings for a friend who died.
Lately, those Memories have led off with my posts from my trip to New York a year ago. I was there to interview women for my next book and do more research at the New York Public Library’s Lincoln Center branch. As luck would have it, I was able to catch a couple of presentations that were related to my research.
As the Memories pop up each morning, I’m amazed at how much I accomplished and how excited I was. My...
Putting Pen to Paper: The First Draft
Oct 19, 2017 by Victoria Noe
winghill.com
Next week I head back to New York. My creative juices flow freely there and it’s time - actually a little past time - to crank out the first draft of my next book.
I’m rushing to finish reading some books for research and photocopy pages I’ll need to refer to while I write. I have dozens of files to pack, along with some poster-sized Post-Its to keep track of my progress. I won’t know until I’m into it which chapters are light, so I have a list of women to add if necessary. I have my audio recordings of some two dozen interviews that lasted anywhere from 45 minutes to well over two hours.
I’m staying at...
Next week I head back to New York. My creative juices flow freely there and it’s time - actually a little past time - to crank out the first draft of my next book.
I’m rushing to finish reading some books for research and photocopy pages I’ll need to refer to while I write. I have dozens of files to pack, along with some poster-sized Post-Its to keep track of my progress. I won’t know until I’m into it which chapters are light, so I have a list of women to add if necessary. I have my audio recordings of some two dozen interviews that lasted anywhere from 45 minutes to well over two hours.
I’m staying at...
In Praise of Librarians
Oct 12, 2017 by Victoria Noe
The Catholic elementary school I attended was too small to have a library, so every time my grandmother took me to the local public library I checked out the maximum number of books. I read a lot and always finished them long before they were due.
Sr. Rosemary was the librarian at my high school. She did not tolerate talking, laughing or other manifestations of bad behavior. Her glare was enough to stop anyone who didn’t have a death wish. Forty years later, I was sitting in the dining room of the nuns’ motherhouse in Kentucky when I felt someone staring at me. A nun a few tables over was watching me, with a look that instantly inspired fear: what did...
Sr. Rosemary was the librarian at my high school. She did not tolerate talking, laughing or other manifestations of bad behavior. Her glare was enough to stop anyone who didn’t have a death wish. Forty years later, I was sitting in the dining room of the nuns’ motherhouse in Kentucky when I felt someone staring at me. A nun a few tables over was watching me, with a look that instantly inspired fear: what did...
"Marked Herself Safe"
Oct 04, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Monday morning was not like most mornings. Like you, I awoke to news of the massacre in Las Vegas. I turned on my computer and logged onto Facebook, where I saw a post from my nephew:
“Marked Himself Safe” Safe from what? Is that some kind of joke? It was not a joke: he was in Las Vegas. Then a friend also posted, “Marked Himself Safe”.
But the person I first thought of, a friend of 18 years who lives in Las Vegas, did not post anything. She used to work on the Strip and goes to a lot of concerts. There was no post.
After 9/11, there was no easy way to find out if friends or family were safe. Phone and internet service was...
“Marked Himself Safe” Safe from what? Is that some kind of joke? It was not a joke: he was in Las Vegas. Then a friend also posted, “Marked Himself Safe”.
But the person I first thought of, a friend of 18 years who lives in Las Vegas, did not post anything. She used to work on the Strip and goes to a lot of concerts. There was no post.
After 9/11, there was no easy way to find out if friends or family were safe. Phone and internet service was...
5 Things That Make Me Feel Like a Successful Writer
Sep 28, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I’ve been thinking a lot about success in my writing career. It’s been much more difficult than I imagined, both the success and defining it:
When I was a stage manager, success meant a performance went off smoothly, with no major problems, as the director intended. When I was a fundraiser, it meant an event that raised its goal or more, or a grant proposal that was funded. When I sold children’s books to school librarians, I felt successful when my customers were happy with their orders.
Writing, though, is different. So here are five things that make me feel successful: Sales. Duh. I’m nowhere near being a best-selling author on any prominent lists. In fact, my sales are nowhere near where I’d hope....
When I was a stage manager, success meant a performance went off smoothly, with no major problems, as the director intended. When I was a fundraiser, it meant an event that raised its goal or more, or a grant proposal that was funded. When I sold children’s books to school librarians, I felt successful when my customers were happy with their orders.
Writing, though, is different. So here are five things that make me feel successful: Sales. Duh. I’m nowhere near being a best-selling author on any prominent lists. In fact, my sales are nowhere near where I’d hope....
On the Road at Author Events
Sep 21, 2017 by Victoria Noe
I have three events in the next few weeks, none of them in Chicago, where I live.
First up this Saturday is the 3rd annual Author Fair at Princeton (IL) Public Library. Princeton is located just south of I-80, a bit north of Peoria. The library hosts a lovely author fair each year, with interesting authors selling terrific books in a variety of genres. This is a picture of me with Jessica Cage, another Chicago author, in Princeton two years ago. She won’t be there this year, but the following week I’ll see her at...
Penned Con! This is my first appearance at Penned Con, a huge author/reader event in St. Louis that supports autism being held September 29-30. There are some...
First up this Saturday is the 3rd annual Author Fair at Princeton (IL) Public Library. Princeton is located just south of I-80, a bit north of Peoria. The library hosts a lovely author fair each year, with interesting authors selling terrific books in a variety of genres. This is a picture of me with Jessica Cage, another Chicago author, in Princeton two years ago. She won’t be there this year, but the following week I’ll see her at...
Penned Con! This is my first appearance at Penned Con, a huge author/reader event in St. Louis that supports autism being held September 29-30. There are some...
The Grief That Takes You By Surprise
Sep 13, 2017 by Victoria Noe
Too many of my friends have lost parents this year. No matter what your age, it’s a shock to navigate that kind of grief. But as we grow older, we witness the deaths of the generations ahead of us: great-grandparents (if you’re lucky, like me), grandparents, parents/aunts/uncles. It’s normal. Expected. But then there are the losses that don’t feel normal, that aren’t expected.
Your friends.
My father was 75 when he died, the first one in his group of friends. They’d lost their parents long ago, but none of them had ever lost a close friend. And though at their ages that might sound like they were in denial, they weren’t. They knew it was possible. They just didn’t expect it to...
My father was 75 when he died, the first one in his group of friends. They’d lost their parents long ago, but none of them had ever lost a close friend. And though at their ages that might sound like they were in denial, they weren’t. They knew it was possible. They just didn’t expect it to...
Author photo by Alina Oswald
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